{"id":15475,"date":"2014-01-30T01:46:51","date_gmt":"2014-01-30T01:46:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/2014\/01\/30\/mybigfatgaylife-seananmcguire\/"},"modified":"2014-01-30T01:46:51","modified_gmt":"2014-01-30T01:46:51","slug":"mybigfatgaylife-seananmcguire","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/2014\/01\/30\/mybigfatgaylife-seananmcguire\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

mybigfatgaylife<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

seananmcguire<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

giraffepoliceforce<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.<\/p>\n

They were expecting military resistance. They weren\u2019t counting on bears.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Or Australia.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

It took us a while to recover.<\/p>\n

The first attacks were vicious and without warning. They hit the biggest cities in the world, the ones with the highest populations first. In the blink of an eye Karachi, Tokyo, Shanghai, Seoul, Delhi, Mexico City, Jakarta, Manilla, and New York City\u2026all gone in fire.<\/p>\n

The computers went next.\u00a0 All of them. Everything with transistors was theirs for the taking.\u00a0 \u201cSome sort of quantum effect,\u201d the braniacs at CERN said, just before they disappeared in their own firey hell that took out most of Switzerland as well as sizeable chunks of France and Italy.<\/p>\n

By the time the enemy landed, we were pretty much defenseless.\u00a0 We couldn\u2019t do much as they started\u2026harvesting us. They didn\u2019t want us dead, that\u2019s for sure.\u00a0 We were no good to them dead.<\/p>\n

It got really bad really fast, and then they stopped.\u00a0 And left.\u00a0 They literally ran like the demons of hell were hot on their heels.\u00a0 They left behind technology the likes of which we\u2019d never seen before.\u00a0 Including a couple of their\u2026processing plants.<\/p>\n

We blew those up.<\/p>\n

So yeah, it took a while for us to recover, to bring our technology back online, and start understanding theirs.\u00a0 To figure out what had happened, where they had gone.<\/p>\n

And it urns out it wasn\u2019t even us.\u00a0 They knew all about us, they\u2019d studied us closely for a long time, to make sure we were compatible.\u00a0 They had us from the moment they fired the first shots from orbit.<\/p>\n

They ignored everything else about the Earth, though. They didn\u2019t bother to learn that we\u2019re not the only animal species on Earth, and that we even share our lives with some of them. They didn\u2019t bother to learn that there are bigger animals out in the wilds.<\/p>\n

They didn\u2019t bother to learn about the bears, or the wolves, or the hyenas, or the tigers.\u00a0 They didn\u2019t bother to learn about the locusts, or ants, or spiders.\u00a0 They didn\u2019t even know about birds.<\/p>\n

Or the bees. According to what we\u2019ve been able to translate, the bees really freaked them out. According to our best translation (which is admittedly shaky) their word for bees was roughly \u201cpoison drones.\u201d\u00a0 Or possibly \u201cpoison demons.\u201d\u00a0 Like I said, the translation is a little shaky.\u00a0 Either one makes me smile.<\/p>\n

It was as if the Earth itself rose up and threw itself at the invaders. Not just to send them packing, but to make them pay.\u00a0 The fronts near the wildernesses crumbled first.\u00a0 The invaders quickly learned that they couldn\u2019t go anywhere near the oceans or any large body of water. They never even got a foothold in Australia. From there it was just a matter of time.<\/p>\n

When I think about being attacked by every insect and animal on Earth\u2026hell, I\u2019d run too.\u00a0 I fucking hate it when I walk into an empty spider web, let alone have them actively attack me.<\/p>\n

We\u2019re going be okay. I adopted a stray cat to keep me company, and to help keep the bad dreams away. The family down the street (they had two dogs and a parrot, so they made it through the invasion just fine) are keeping bees.<\/p>\n

There are already plans for permanent protections for our wild spaces.\u00a0 The rainforests, which were going to be gone within a few generations, will live on. We\u2019ve learned our lesson.<\/p>\n

We\u2019re going to be better stewards of this world.\u00a0 After all it did for us it\u2019s the least we can do.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

mybigfatgaylife: seananmcguire: giraffepoliceforce: I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife. They were expecting military resistance. They weren\u2019t counting on bears. Or Australia. It took us a while to recover. The first attacks were vicious and without … Continue reading <\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1572,1571,1570],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15475"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15475"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15475\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15475"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15475"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15475"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}