{"id":15872,"date":"2014-01-26T05:30:50","date_gmt":"2014-01-26T05:30:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/2014\/01\/26\/has-anyone-told-you-to-die-yet\/"},"modified":"2014-01-26T05:30:50","modified_gmt":"2014-01-26T05:30:50","slug":"has-anyone-told-you-to-die-yet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/2014\/01\/26\/has-anyone-told-you-to-die-yet\/","title":{"rendered":"has anyone told you to die yet?"},"content":{"rendered":"

dxtective<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

Aight Nonnie. Fine you want to play like that? Fine. We\u2019ll play.<\/sub><\/p>\n

So let\u2019s say I did actually kill myself tonight because you wanted me to. Let\u2019s just say I didn\u2019t tell a single soul. Let\u2019s just say I was dead because of you.<\/sub><\/p>\n

My blog would fade away. People would have no idea what happened to me. Those few people that do like to talk to me and see me on their dash wouldn\u2019t know what happened to me. They\u2019d be scared. They\u2019d be worried about me. Why? Because of you. Because you had to open your annoying little grey fucking faced mouth and act all tough behind a computer screen.<\/sub><\/p>\n

But it\u2019s not going to stop there. Imagine now, being at my house. My little brother comes to my room to wake me up the next day and make sure I\u2019m feeling okay, to find me dead. Blood\u2019s covering my bed and my wrists are slit. I\u2019m not breathing and my corpse is already cold. Imagine the look of complete horror when my brother realizes his sister\u2019s never going to wake up again. He rushes to my side, shaking me, begging me to wake up. Getting no response, he calls my father and lets him know he thinks I\u2019m dead. My dad leaves work immediately and rushes home to find my brother still by my lifeless side. My brother looks up at my father with a tear streaked face and watery eyes. \u201cShe\u2019s gone\u2026\u201d he whispers. My father\u2019s in denial though and screams at me to wake up. When he realizes I won\u2019t, he falls down to my side holding my hand crying. There\u2019s no note, no warning, nothing. They don\u2019t know why I did this and they\u2019ll probably never know. My brother and my father will always wonder if they could have somehow saved me from this fate. They\u2019ll carry around this burden forever, never able to get it off their shoulders.<\/sub><\/p>\n

But wait, flash forward two weeks to my funeral. My lifeless body that you put there lays in a casket. I\u2019m surrounded by people I thought, didn\u2019t want me alive because you wanted me. My mother\u2019s crying unable to believe her little girl is gone. My dad\u2019s holding my little brother, trying to stay strong for him as sobs rake through his body. Silent tears though, are rolling down my father\u2019s face as he stares stoically forward, the words the preacher is saying just a fuzz. My best friend\u2019s sobbing. She\u2019s known me since kindergarten and yet she had no idea I was going to kill myself. She wonders if there\u2019s someway she could have helped me, the way friends are supposed to and she carries this with her forever. My aunts and uncles and cousins they\u2019re heartbroken. Charlie, Calea and Pepper, they don\u2019t understand. They\u2019re to young to understand their cousin Cassie is never coming home, they\u2019re never going to see her again. They don\u2019t understand that she\u2019s gone, that she\u2019s dead and they won\u2019t understand til they\u2019re much older. Calea may never have memories of me and neither will Pepper. They\u2019re too young to remember their cousin. They\u2019ll see pictures of themselves with a young blonde smiling and enjoying life but she\u2019ll be nothing more than a mere stranger to them.\u00a0<\/sub><\/p>\n

But no one, not a single soul in that church, will know that you\u2019re the one that did this to me. You\u2019re the one that broke me to the point where I killed myself. You\u2019re the one that hurt me so much that I wanted to die. You\u2019re the one that caused my death and you will have that blood on your hands for the rest of your life. So read this well and read this wisely because I can promise you, you may think you want me dead, but you will have to carry the burden of knowing you killed an innocent life by your words. You\u2019re not anymore special than I. You\u2019re not anymore important than I. We\u2019re all equals on this world. We all came to this world the same way and we mean just as much on this earth as an ant. Everyone is important and just because you don\u2019t like them doesn\u2019t mean you can tell them to kill themselves. Hate breeds nothing but bitterness and the fact that you believe it to be okay to hate someone makes me feel sad for you. I hope someday you realize just how much impact your words could have on someone because if you don\u2019t, someday you\u2019re going to hurt someone to the point where they\u2019ll never come back and you\u2019ll have to live with that for the rest of your life. So tell me, are you prepared to carry that burden or will you hate yourself for the rest of your life because you lost someone you cared about?<\/sub><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Instant, blinding red rage toward anon.<\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

dxtective: Aight Nonnie. Fine you want to play like that? Fine. We\u2019ll play. So let\u2019s say I did actually kill myself tonight because you wanted me to. Let\u2019s just say I didn\u2019t tell a single soul. Let\u2019s just say I was dead because of you. My blog would fade away. People would have no idea … Continue reading has anyone told you to die yet?<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15872"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15872"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15872\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15872"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15872"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15872"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}