I have a question.<\/p>\n
Why is this<\/a>\u00a0(tw: suicide) a huge deal, but this<\/a>\u00a0and this<\/a>\u00a0is okay?<\/p>\n My proper response to that crap is this<\/a>, but let me draw out a few pertinent quotes for you.<\/p>\n As someone who is borderline-suicidal in her daily life because of clinical depression, I<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>do not have time<\/em>\u00a0<\/span>for your bullshit, fandom. I am fighting my depression kicking and screaming and<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>clawing<\/em>, clinging to the very fucking\u00a0<\/span>edge<\/em>\u00a0<\/span>of that abyss, and I do<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>not<\/em>\u00a0<\/span>need you adding weight to the load.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n So many of us who become\u00a0attached\u00a0to fandoms enough to do things like write fic, roleplay, draw, and otherwise create for them? So so\u00a0so<\/em>\u00a0many of us use this as an outlet because our real lives\u00a0suck<\/em>. In Meegan\u2019s case, she was suffering from bullying in-person, and fandom\u00a0should have been a\u00a0safe space\u00a0<\/strong>for her<\/em>. Instead it became somewhere else she was being hurt, and she took her own life.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n We failed her, as a fandom, collectively. We failed to provide her with a safe place to feel comfortable in her own skin, despite the fact that\u00a0so many<\/em>\u00a0of us know exactly what she was going through, because we\u2019ve\u00a0been<\/em>\u00a0there. We failed to call people out on their shit when we saw it, and we failed to reach out when we could have done something.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n If the minute I say<\/span><\/p>\n It had to do with my self-doubt, my trying to figure out how I was going to deal with wanting to play with people and not reaching out. It had to do with — frankly, with the damned dummystark situation and with my personal insanity.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n honestly I get jumped on for using my illness as an excuse — well, thanks, you just made me want to repeat the cycle all over again. Why would I\u00a0want<\/em> to stick around a fandom, where I come to\u00a0get away from that crap,<\/em> that hits me with my illness like it’s something I can help? I didn’t write that to say “dummystark drove me away”. Far from it. It was a horrible, stressful situation; I had a lot of doubts about my desirability as a friend and roleplayer, and I crawled into a hole and pulled it in after me. That was all me<\/em>. And I gritted my teeth, took my meds, talked to my therapist, and decided that reaching out to people was important to me, as a writer, as a geekgirl, and as a roleplayer.<\/p>\n That other person\u00a0died<\/em> because stuff like what was said to me\u00a0gets praised<\/em>.<\/p>\n You can’t do that to me. I’ve\u00a0been there.<\/em> You can’t say anything to me I haven’t heard before, period. But I will be drawn and quartered, tarred and feathered and driven off tumblr and out of roleplaying before I stop calling people out on that shit. And what was said about me last night was\u00a0bullshit<\/em>.<\/p>\n Dishonor on your cow.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I have a question. Why is this\u00a0(tw: suicide) a huge deal, but this\u00a0and this\u00a0is okay? My proper response to that crap is this, but let me draw out a few pertinent quotes for you. As someone who is borderline-suicidal in her daily life because of clinical depression, I\u00a0do not have time\u00a0for your bullshit, fandom. I … Continue reading <\/span> \n
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