{"id":2837,"date":"2014-11-02T23:39:15","date_gmt":"2014-11-02T23:39:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/2014\/11\/02\/bigangry-bakafox-nyshadidntbreakit-so-i\/"},"modified":"2014-11-02T23:39:15","modified_gmt":"2014-11-02T23:39:15","slug":"bigangry-bakafox-nyshadidntbreakit-so-i","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/2014\/11\/02\/bigangry-bakafox-nyshadidntbreakit-so-i\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

bigangry<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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bakafox<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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nyshadidntbreakit<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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So, I have a personal experience of depression that I\u2019ve never seen included in any symptoms list or diagnostic matrix, and I\u2019m curious if that\u2019s because it\u2019s just me or if it\u2019s something that more people have experienced, which just hasn\u2019t been well-recognised medically. Tumblr seems like a good place to ask for anecdotes!<\/p>\n

I find that when I\u2019m really badly depressed, it alters my memory. Bad things that happen – even really minor ones – stick in my mind, and I\u2019ll still be agonising over them weeks later. But good things just\u2026 go. They happen, I feel good about them for a few hours, then I just seem to forget. The only way I can remember good things when I\u2019m depressed, often, is to sit down and go \u201cOkay, catalogue everything that happened to me today\/this week\/recently, good and bad\u201d. And I\u2019ll go through all the bad things and maybe a few significant good things, and then sit there for a while thinking \u201cThat can\u2019t be it\u2026 there must be more\u2026\u201d, and then finally, gradually, the good things will come back to me.<\/p>\n

You can imagine how much this sucks in terms of perpetuating depression and making it difficult to have any kind of positive outlook. Thankfully I don\u2019t suffer from it as much as I used to, since for several years I just had short periods (a few days) of really bad depression interspersed into normal life, but since my sort of base level of depression has been creeping up this year it\u2019s got me thinking about this again.<\/p>\n

So, if you\u2019ve been depressed, have you ever experienced something like this? Or is it just me?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Reblogging b\/c others in my circle have insights on this too.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Oh. Oh god.<\/p>\n

Yes, this is ABSOLUTELY normal for depression.<\/p>\n

Depression is an evil brain disease that will slowly suck the color and life out of your world, and it will turn your mind against your conscious self. It\u2019s absolutely a good plan to seek treatment or medication or both when dealing with depression, because otherwise, it will start to tear at you and eat at you, and you will doubt yourself, and hate yourself, and your brain will convince you that all the people you know would be better off if you were dead.<\/p>\n

Trust me, I\u2019ve been through ECT (shock treatment) and been on a cocktail of meds for over 15 years. I\u2019m doing decently nowadays, but things were bleak for a long time.<\/p>\n

Please, if possible, seek treatment from either a psychologist or a psychiatrist. It may help bring the vibrancy of color back into your life.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Being depressed means your brain is fighting you. Along with seeing a therapist, dealing with this kind of memory short is why having a circle of supporters is hugely helpful. They can remind you of good things; listen when you just have to rant, cry, or complain; and while it’s hard on everyone, having a support team can make a difference between “oh god I hate myself” and “\/wrists”.<\/p>\n

In short, yes. Being badly depressed messes with your memory.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

bigangry: bakafox: nyshadidntbreakit: So, I have a personal experience of depression that I\u2019ve never seen included in any symptoms list or diagnostic matrix, and I\u2019m curious if that\u2019s because it\u2019s just me or if it\u2019s something that more people have experienced, which just hasn\u2019t been well-recognised medically. Tumblr seems like a good place to ask … Continue reading <\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[33],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2837"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2837"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2837\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2837"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2837"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2837"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}