So I’ve figured out why I woke up this morning feeling like hell. I kind of hate when my under-self doesn’t talk to the aware part of me about what is going on.<\/p>\n
See, I play this MMORPG called City of Heroes. I can still say that in present tense right now, but two days from now — I won’t.<\/p>\n
I don’t — I’m not sure I can put words around why this is so upsetting for me. The game is eight-and-a-half years old. We had eight years in May. And my relationship, the guy I’m marrying, he introduced me to the game, by loading up the character creator and putting his laptop in my lap. It’s an important part of our lives together, this game. Not MMOs in general, \/this\/ one.<\/p>\n
I lost touch with my best friends after college, and I found one of them again because of City. She plays. I didn’t even know, until after I subscribed, and then I found her in the chatroom. I think I still have a text file recording our reaction. She’s one of my bridesmaids.<\/p>\n
There are so many other people that I’ve met, who’ve been — and always will be — an enormous part of my life, because of this game. I’d need extra hands and feet to count them all. They — literally — saved my life. At the panels we have at Dragon*con, I’m known. I’m the Girl Who Needs No Mic.<\/p>\n
It \/hurts\/, knowing that all that is being taken away from me. Not the memories, of course, but there won’t be any new ones. We, as a community, have done so much over the last three months, trying to change this, and two days from now our efforts … won’t mean anything. I’m holding back tears. You really don’t realise how deeply something has entwined itself into your heart until you have to face its absence.<\/p>\n
We made — make — that game live. City is the base inspiration for my character here; Summer originated there. Me, if I were truly a superheroine, instead of just merely a human trying-to-be-heroine.<\/p>\n
I just … needed to write all this out. To shape it in words and remind myself it’s okay to be upset about this. I don’t think I’ll really be here Friday night, because I’m going to be in Paragon City until they turn off the servers.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So I’ve figured out why I woke up this morning feeling like hell. I kind of hate when my under-self doesn’t talk to the aware part of me about what is going on. See, I play this MMORPG called City of Heroes. I can still say that in present tense right now, but two days … Continue reading City of Heroes<\/span>