{"id":5101,"date":"2014-09-02T18:34:08","date_gmt":"2014-09-02T18:34:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/2014\/09\/02\/chuck-wendig-is-magnificent\/"},"modified":"2014-09-02T18:34:08","modified_gmt":"2014-09-02T18:34:08","slug":"chuck-wendig-is-magnificent","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/2014\/09\/02\/chuck-wendig-is-magnificent\/","title":{"rendered":"Chuck Wendig is magnificent"},"content":{"rendered":"

dduane<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

I just feel the need to share that sentiment at the moment.<\/p>\n

\n

“If you don\u2019t want nude pics leaked, don\u2019t take nude pics with your phone \u2014” *Tasers you* *steals your shoes* SHOULDN\u2019T WEAR SHOES BRO<\/p>\n

\n\u2014 Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) <\/div>\n

September 1, 2014<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\n

I wrote that tweet yesterday in regards to the celebrity nude photo thefts.<\/a><\/p>\n

(It\u2019s not a leak. Nor a scandal. It was theft, kay? Kay.)<\/p>\n

It\u2019s had over 4500 retweets since then.<\/p>\n

A tweet that goes that far and wide tends to get a response that is equally far and wide, and so of course I\u2019m getting a lot of tweets from people (let\u2019s be honest: dudes) who are like BUH BUH BUT UHH THAT\u2019S WRONG BECAUSE SOMETHING SOMETHING FALSE ANALOGY SOMETHING SOMETHING SECURITY AND HEY REMEMBER YOU SHOULDN\u2019T PUT NUDE PHOTOS ON YOUR PHONE IF YOU WANT THEM STOLEN.<\/p>\n

Basically reiterating the same thing I was attempting to refute in the first fucking place.<\/p>\n

If that is your response, may I take this moment to elucidate an academic retort:<\/p>\n

Fuck you.<\/p>\n

Fuuuuuuuck you.<\/p>\n

Fuuuu-huuuu-huuuuuuuuck you.<\/p>\n

Please: now allow me to grow multiple arms like Shiva the Destroyer, and further, do note that at the ends of each serpentine arm you will find a middle finger, thrust up so that each finger is\u00a0straining<\/em> in an angry, arthritic fashion\u00a0<\/em>to convey the telepathic disdain I have for your bullshit, hypocritical, falsely equivalent opinion.<\/p>\n

I think people should be allowed to take nude photos of themselves.<\/p>\n

I think nude photos are rad. I think not taking nude photos is rad. I think whatever you want to do sexually or artistically is a-okay as long as its enthusiastically consensual \u2014 stick a carrot up your ass, if you want, while banging your genitals with a tambourine. Whoever you are, however you identify yourselves, I live in a world where I want you to have both the freedom to do what you want in this manner while simultaneously possessing the privacy to do it as you see fit.<\/p>\n

Any violation of that is just that: a violation.<\/p>\n

It is a crime. An actual, honest-to-that-blind-lady-with-the-scales crime.<\/p>\n

It is not rape, but it is\u00a0deeply demonstrative<\/em> of rape culture because it is an act that exploits a woman and her body without her consent. And then, as if to vigorously rub salt into the wound with the heel of one\u2019s callused hand, the judgey-faced shitty-assed judgments of countless men follow in the wake of the violation: victim-blaming, slut-shaming, Puritanical finger-waggling.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you don\u2019t want nude pics to get into the world\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSomething-something security\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, sure, it\u2019s a crime, but still, you have to know realize that\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Shut up.<\/p>\n

Shut up shut up shut up shut up.<\/p>\n

If you do that, you are on the side of evil, not the side of good.<\/p>\n

Oh, I know. You\u2019re pretending that you have people\u2019s best interests at heart.<\/p>\n

You want to remind them that the phone they carry is a vulnerable device.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s basically a boat with a sprung hull. Anything might leak into or out of it.<\/p>\n

So, you think that anything you have put on your phone is suspect? Or your computer or tablet? If I steal your banking information, or your credit cards, or your e-mails, or pictures of your wife, your kids \u2014 well, hey, that\u2019s your fault. You plugged in, bro. You shouldn\u2019t have driven on the Information Superhighway if you don\u2019t want to get run over by a couple joy-riding hackers, right?<\/p>\n

And hey, driving on the\u00a0actual\u00a0<\/em>highway is pretty dangerous, too. You shouldn\u2019t drive because you could get hit. Sure, I mean, a drunk driver shouldn\u2019t drive drunk \u2013 but it\u2019s kinda your fault too\u00a0<\/em>because you had the audacity to leave your home. Leaving your home is dangerous. Your whole body is basically a gelatinous jellyfish, just an animated sack of bones and meat quivering its way through life. If you don\u2019t protect yourself \u2014 guns, armor, various Mad Max-ian spikes and chains \u2014 then you can expect\u00a0all kinds of violence. You\u2019re not at all secure out there. Your flesh isn\u2019t protected by a password. It\u2019s your fault if you get beaten up. Oh, they stole your wallet, too? That\u2019s what you get for putting all that\u00a0vulnerable money\u00a0<\/em>inside a\u00a0leather flappy thing<\/em> ensconced within the\u00a0soft downy pockets of your dumb acid wash jeans<\/em>.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s that? I just punched you in the face?<\/p>\n

Okay, yes, that\u2019s a crime. Admittedly! Admittedly<\/em>.<\/p>\n

But you probably also should be wearing a helmet.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u2026There\u2019s more. Every word a delight. Go read it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

dduane: I just feel the need to share that sentiment at the moment. “If you don\u2019t want nude pics leaked, don\u2019t take nude pics with your phone \u2014” *Tasers you* *steals your shoes* SHOULDN\u2019T WEAR SHOES BRO \u2014 Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 1, 2014 I wrote that tweet yesterday in regards to the celebrity nude … Continue reading Chuck Wendig is magnificent<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5101"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5101"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5101\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5101"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5101"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.firechildren.net\/lightfire\/iamthefirechild\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5101"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}