the thing about psychological disorders is
if you have one
you want to be cured of it
because it is unbelievably painful and unfair
but at the same time
you don’t want to let it go
because without even realizing it you’ve started using it as a crutch
and any retrospection while in this state will lead you to the conclusion that you’ve always been like this
this state of mind is all you are and all you have been
so the greatest fear is
if you lose that
what’s left of you?