Victor frowned and gently swatted her hand away, wiping the tears with his own hand and kissing her eyes. “I know, an’ I want t’ stay with you, I’d give the world for you even though it scares me t’ death Summer. It won’t do either of us any good if I’m dead though.” He sighed shakily, not making eye contact for a moment then smiled sadly. His lips found hers slowly and rhythmically as he kissed her. “I’ll do it. I’ll stop. I dunno how but I’ll figure something out. I’ll stop for you if you want me t’.”
It hurt. His worry, his fear, his pain, his sorrow — she made an effort to shut it out, hard though it was with his skin to hers. But she could barely respond to his kisses, cutting herself with how selfish she was. Who was she to ask him to change, just because she was a little afraid? That wasn’t fair to him, not at all.
“Don’t,” Summer said at last, turning her face away. “Don’t, I don’t deserve it. I’m sorry, it was selfish, I shouldn’t’ve said it.”
He cupped her face with his hand and moved so that their eyes met again. “No, please, don’t say tha’ love. I want tha’, everything tha’ you said, I want it. I want t’ be a better person for you I jus’ haven’t a bloody clue where t’ start. I’m so scared I’m going t’ fuck everything up Summer ‘cos this is all I’ve ever known but I want t’ try. You’re the only person tha’s ever made me want t’ try.”
“You aren’t a bad person, Victor, that’s not what I meant at all!” Summer burst out. “Do you really think /I/ of all people would have anything at all to do with you if you were /bad/? I’m just … terrified to lose you. To someone else’s badness.” Oh, gods, he’d been gone so long, and miraculously come home, and this was what they fought about? She blinked hard and more hot tears ran down her face.