TRUE NATURE FACT: Wild lemurs have been observed using giant millipedes in a rather interesting fashion. They grab the millipede and nip it, which freaks the millipede out (understandably) so that it goes into its defensive mode and secretes this nasty toxic gunk that tastes foul and contains cyanide. The lemur proceeds to “milk” the gunk from the millipede, nipping it occasionally to keep it defensive, and rubs the gunk into its fur, where it acts as a natural pesticide, killing fleas and other parasites that make the lemur itchy.
This’d be cool in and of itself, but there’s another side effect. Apparently if you rub millipede goo on your fur, you get high. The lemurs—this has been observed in brown lemurs and in ringtails—display every sign of being high as little fuzzy kites. Their eyes get glazed and buggy, they stagger around in the branches, their tongues stick out, and I assume once the naturalists stop looking, they go pig out on Doritos and giggle a lot.
This is all really, honestly true (except for the Doritos.) So that got me thinking about brave lemur warriors, gallivanting around the canopy, who instead of flasks of brandy, keep their pet millipede around for those times when warrioring just gets too darn stressful. And hey, nobody likes fleas in their armor, so it’s probably good for that, too.
(Obviously millipede should only be used responsibly and in moderation. Do not millipede and drive. Just say no to millipede, kids! Etc.) – Ursula Vernon