and you tell me, i don’t have to wait my turn. but i do, i do, i come to you and say i’m ready now and you’re not ready. you don’t want me now. so when does this happen? i can’t always be ready for you, with this pulse of her beating in my brain, knowing what she wants to say and do. so i do have to wait my turn, patiently, trying to be just at the edge of sight so you don’t forget — but not say anything, god no, because that’s greedy and selfish and makes you feel bad. and when i do this, just putting my thoughts into words where anyone can see them, that’s passive-aggressive.
so what am i supposed to do
disappear until you want me, until it truly is my turn.
not good enough. that’s what i hear when you say it. what you mean is you but what i hear is me.
don’t make anyone feel bad. only yourself, and don’t let anyone see that. attention seeker. greedy. jealous. how dare you show that you are hurting.
i want to be sorry but mostly i just want my turn.