What woke her at last was the chill of the water around her. She flailed upright, shivering, and blinked at her surroundings. For a long minute she couldn’t remember where she was or how she’d gotten there, and panicked, scrambling upright and out of the tub. Her heart pounded, and she snatched a towel, clutching it to her chest and staring wide-eyed at herself in the mirror.
Derek got up quickly when he heard her heart take off, running to the bathroom to see what was happening. “Are you okay in there?” he shouted against the door, knocking loudly. He knew she wouldn’t be able to answer him, but he thought she might come out if she heard his voice. “I can sense that you are scared..”
Her hand trembled as she twisted the doorknob, feeling nauseous from the sudden drop of adrenalin into her bloodstream. His voice had made her remember where she was, but the physical effects of fear would not dissipate so easily. Clutching the towel around herself, water drops running down her neck, she looked up at Derek with huge eyes.
There was no answer; his tap wasn’t loud enough to wake her. There wasn’t even any sound, just the slow steady pulse of a resting heartbeat.
Derek listened carefully and thought that things were okay as he listened to her heartbeat, his eyes refocusing on the book in his hands.
What woke her at last was the chill of the water around her. She flailed upright, shivering, and blinked at her surroundings. For a long minute she couldn’t remember where she was or how she’d gotten there, and panicked, scrambling upright and out of the tub. Her heart pounded, and she snatched a towel, clutching it to her chest and staring wide-eyed at herself in the mirror.
It seemed surprising, but she shrugged and spun on one heel. Handling the clothes, neatly folded and put away, made her feel grubby and out of place. The previous owner’s taste seemed to run to simple, so Summer grabbed a tshirt and loose pants and some undergarments and retreated to the bathroom for a while.
She luxuriated in the bath, scrubbing herself hard with soap several times before simply laying back in the hot water and closing her eyes. Without meaning to, she dozed off.
Derek continued to read his book for awhile, wondering how much longer she would be. He felt like he would finish what he was reading at this point. He got up and headed to the bathroom, lightly knocking on the door. “Everything okay in there?” he asked as he listened for her heartbeat.
There was no answer; his tap wasn’t loud enough to wake her. There wasn’t even any sound, just the slow steady pulse of a resting heartbeat.
She found the bathroom, and then a thought occurred to her, so she came back to him and pointed to her shirt, lifting the shoulder at him.
Derek looked up at her and nodded. “Extra clothes are in the room next to the bathroom. Some of Cora’s things should be in there. Pick what you want.”
It seemed surprising, but she shrugged and spun on one heel. Handling the clothes, neatly folded and put away, made her feel grubby and out of place. The previous owner’s taste seemed to run to simple, so Summer grabbed a tshirt and loose pants and some undergarments and retreated to the bathroom for a while.
She luxuriated in the bath, scrubbing herself hard with soap several times before simply laying back in the hot water and closing her eyes. Without meaning to, she dozed off.
She made a childish, grumpy face at him, but got up, smearing at the tears. Pushing her hair out of her face, shoulders still tense, she began to explore around for the bathroom. Maybe if she was good enough, he wouldn’t be angry at her any more.
Derek sat back on the couch with a long breath escaping his chest. He definitely thought this was going to be easier than it was. He wasn’t one that was easily comfortable with taking care of others. “I’ll be out here,” he called out to her.
She found the bathroom, and then a thought occurred to her, so she came back to him and pointed to her shirt, lifting the shoulder at him.
She closed her eyes, tears wetting the lashes. After a moment, she nodded. ‘tell me what you want me to do’.
Derek sighed and looked her up and down before he said anything. “I want you to go take a bath and relax. You look like you need it.”
She made a childish, grumpy face at him, but got up, smearing at the tears. Pushing her hair out of her face, shoulders still tense, she began to explore around for the bathroom. Maybe if she was good enough, he wouldn’t be angry at her any more.
She set the pencil to paper, started to write, then scratched it out. She didn’t know how to explain her fears, how she didn’t want to be a burden. Finally she wrote, ‘so lost, confused. please don’t be angry it hurts. it’s hard to ask’.
Derek sighed, closing his eyes a moment so that he could control his anger. “You don’t need to ask. I’m giving this to you. I said I would take care of you and that’s what I am going to do.” He opened back up his lids, concern on his features. “You don’t have to worry about me ever going back on that promise. I would never do that.”
She closed her eyes, tears wetting the lashes. After a moment, she nodded. ‘tell me what you want me to do’.
She hunched even lower under his sarcasm. ‘you pushed me away. you don’t know what to do with me’. He loomed over her, and she looked up, eyes wide. She wasn’t afraid, exactly, of him, but the sheer dependency of her ill-defined role here made her uneasy.
Derek was really getting annoyed now. “Yeah, I’m not used to cuddling strangers.” He shook his head. “If you want to go, go. But you are welcome here. I already made that clear to you.”
She set the pencil to paper, started to write, then scratched it out. She didn’t know how to explain her fears, how she didn’t want to be a burden. Finally she wrote, ‘so lost, confused. please don’t be angry it hurts. it’s hard to ask’.
She flinched, freezing in place, and hung her head, the picture of guilt. After a moment, she came back, not meeting his eyes, and picked up the pad.
‘you don’t want me here. I ask too much’
She could feel his anger, but didn’t understand it.
“I don’t want you here. That’s why I invited you in my home and cooked for you. I even offered you a place to sleep and a shower. You’re right.” He felt his muscles tensing as he got up. “If you don’t want to be here, fine. You can leave but don’t say things that aren’t even true.”
She hunched even lower under his sarcasm. ‘you pushed me away. you don’t know what to do with me’. He loomed over her, and she looked up, eyes wide. She wasn’t afraid, exactly, of him, but the sheer dependency of her ill-defined role here made her uneasy.
Summer didn’t know how long she slept, held against Derek’s chest, but when she opened her eyes again the room was bright. It had been a long time since she’d been able to sleep that well, but even as she woke up she remembered her decision from the night before.
As carefully as she could, she slipped away from Derek, trying not to wake him, and crept toward the door. Best if she just vanished, and he forgot she existed.
Derek stirred when she moved out of his arm, adjusting himself a moment when the footsteps caught his ear. He shot up on the couch and looked around, spotting her close to the door. “Where do you think you’re going?” His voice was hard as he asked the question. “Are you just going to leave? After all that?”
She flinched, freezing in place, and hung her head, the picture of guilt. After a moment, she came back, not meeting his eyes, and picked up the pad.
‘you don’t want me here. I ask too much’
She could feel his anger, but didn’t understand it.