redmetalandgold:

iamthefirechild:

redmetalandgold:

“We finished exams yesterday,” he stated, narrowing his eyes when Tiberius started making out with a pillow. “I think it’s illegal to kill my roommate. Can you make sure I’m right about that?”

“Definitively. On the other hand, I’m not above, say, rendering him impotent for a week. Or maybe irrationally afraid of girls.” Summer snickered. “What’s he doing? What are you doing?”

“He’s making out with a pillow and pointing at me,” he replied, flinging a pen at his head and shooting him the bird. “I’d move, but the fucker would follow me.” Tony coughed slightly and felt a pen collide with the back of his head. “I’m currently having pens thrown at me.”

“Unfair, unfair. You should throw him out of the room; don’t you give him private time? Trade on that,” she suggested. “Though I don’t expect there’s much for him to hear, just now. It’s not as though we’re saying anything interesting.”

redmetalandgold:

iamthefirechild:

redmetalandgold:

iamthefirechild:

redmetalandgold:

Tony listened with half an ear as his roommate droned on about the night he had spent with his girlfriend, not really giving a fuck. Was he happy that his friend was happy? Sure. Did he want to hear about the kinky sex they had? Fuck no. Picking his head up when the land line rang, he got up from the couch, telling Tiberius to shut the fuck up, and moved over to the crimson phone.

“You’ve reached the life model decoy of Tony Stark,” he began, looking at his fingernails. “Speak your name and business.”

“What?” Summer laughed. “Tony? It’s Summer.” She laid sideways on her bed, earpiece over one ear, looking out at the grey, overcast day hundreds of miles south of Tony. “I thought maybe if you weren’t busy we could talk.” 

Tony picked up the pad of paper by the phone and threw it at Tiberius when he started making kissy noises. “Don’t you have your girlfriend to go fuck?” He shot at him before turning back to the phone. “Me? Busy? No, darling, I’m available.”

“I’m /so/ glad I have a single,” she had to say, muffling giggles into the blankets. “Is it still snowing up there? It’s horrible here. I haven’t seen the sun in a week. Everyone’s wound up about exams, too; it’s suffocating.”

“We finished exams yesterday,” he stated, narrowing his eyes when Tiberius started making out with a pillow. “I think it’s illegal to kill my roommate. Can you make sure I’m right about that?”

“Definitively. On the other hand, I’m not above, say, rendering him impotent for a week. Or maybe irrationally afraid of girls.” Summer snickered. “What’s he doing? What are you doing?”

redmetalandgold:

iamthefirechild:

redmetalandgold:

Tony listened with half an ear as his roommate droned on about the night he had spent with his girlfriend, not really giving a fuck. Was he happy that his friend was happy? Sure. Did he want to hear about the kinky sex they had? Fuck no. Picking his head up when the land line rang, he got up from the couch, telling Tiberius to shut the fuck up, and moved over to the crimson phone.

“You’ve reached the life model decoy of Tony Stark,” he began, looking at his fingernails. “Speak your name and business.”

“What?” Summer laughed. “Tony? It’s Summer.” She laid sideways on her bed, earpiece over one ear, looking out at the grey, overcast day hundreds of miles south of Tony. “I thought maybe if you weren’t busy we could talk.” 

Tony picked up the pad of paper by the phone and threw it at Tiberius when he started making kissy noises. “Don’t you have your girlfriend to go fuck?” He shot at him before turning back to the phone. “Me? Busy? No, darling, I’m available.”

“I’m /so/ glad I have a single,” she had to say, muffling giggles into the blankets. “Is it still snowing up there? It’s horrible here. I haven’t seen the sun in a week. Everyone’s wound up about exams, too; it’s suffocating.”