mischief-mistress:

iamthefirechild:

“Making holes in peoples’ memories is usually more trouble than it’s worth,” Summer commented dryly. “You’ve gotta find him a reason to live. Or at least a reason not to go chasing those shadows.” She shoved herself up to her feet, watching Lex. “Having been down that far myself, I assure you it is not going to be easy.”

Thinking back to her own past, she added, “Sometimes you have to hammer at them for years before things change. Do … you want my help?”

“I know, but… I could fill his head with, let’s say… ‘fake’ memories, he wouldn’t even know that they didn’t really happen. He’d live his life just like he did before everything went down. I won’t do it if he doesn’t agree, and I don’t like that option either, because I’d probably have to stay away from him… but…” Lex buried her face in her arms for a moment, before looking up to Summer again when she heard her words.

“A reason to live? How? I cannot… I don’t have the time! He said four days!” Lex’s eyes were swimming in tears again. “How would you help me?”  

“If he agreed to put it off even once, it’s that much easier to coax him to do it again. But I … ” Summer hesitated. It was, always, one thing to listen to someone’s heart passively, even to go into it and listen. Active alteration … active alteration was risky.

Suicide was final.

” … I can go in, with his knowledge, and lock up his emotions, block out what he’s feeling that’s driving the suicidal impulse, long enough for you to speak sense with him.”

mischief-mistress:

iamthefirechild:

“Oooh.” Summer’s eyes rounded at the flood of relief Lex felt. “Your magic is … really different from mine. It’s literally part of you physically, isn’t it. That’s amazing.”

She knelt carefully beside Lex, watching over her. “You’re going to be okay now. That’s one worry eased, right? So now you can go be honest to Magnus, and be able to protect yourself. Right?”

Lex gave her a weak smile. “Exactly. That’s why I felt so empty and hollow when that bastard cursed me.” She was adapting to her new old self, and let out a sigh of relief. Finally she would be able to do something again. 

Carefully, she stood up, stretching her arms and legs. However, her look turned sad again when Summer mentioned Magnus again. “He… he wants to commit suicide.” The edge of exasperation was there again. “I don’t want him to do that, but he doesn’t want to listen. I… I could make him forget everything, but I won’t do it without his agreement.” She also thought of Maria, who was all too willing to forget, but it was simply the wrong time.

“Making holes in peoples’ memories is usually more trouble than it’s worth,” Summer commented dryly. “You’ve gotta find him a reason to live. Or at least a reason not to go chasing those shadows.” She shoved herself up to her feet, watching Lex. “Having been down that far myself, I assure you it is not going to be easy.”

Thinking back to her own past, she added, “Sometimes you have to hammer at them for years before things change. Do … you want my help?”

mischief-mistress:

iamthefirechild:

“No.” Summer spoke softly, but let her tone be a lash. She reached out for Lex’s wrist and drew the other woman close, putting an arm around her shoulder. Without her consciously being aware of it, the corresponding wing flexed and spread, cupping Lex in a greater embrace.

“Don’t take more blame than is yours already. Bad luck, your timing, yes, but don’t crush yourself under it.” She looked Lex right in the eyes, ignoring the tears. “He’ll need you, then, if he’s to cope with this. Loki is … Loki can be cruel. Some of him, anyway.”

Biting at her lip, she pulled on Lex’s pain and guilt, drawing it in, trying to lance the ache just a little bit. “There, shhh. Hold on to me. You can let it go, now.”

Lex felt herself suddenly embraced by Summer… and then her wings. Feeling that sudden warmth just made her cry harder, sobbing each time she tried to breathe or speak. She buried her head in Summer’s shoulder, clutching her neck with her right hand. She hadn’t shed a tear about the whole issue since that fateful night where Magnus had threatened her. Since that moment, she had been in a constant state of shock, letting the things happen and trying to do something to avoid that everything got worse, but terribly failing at it. 

Summer tried to soothe her with words; Lex was trembling as she made another attempt to speak. “I can’t- I… I can’t get through to M-Magnus…” Lex whimpered,   “He… wants to kill himself now, and I can’t let that happen, Summer… I want to help him, but…”

Suddenly she felt a warm, comfortable feeling slowly running through her, and she realised it had to be Summer’s ability as an empath. 

“Of course you do.” Summer ran her hand down Lex’s hair. Fire, for this, later. “You will, but first you have to help yourself. Can’t ease him all tied in knots yourself, now can you?”

She wondered how long, exactly, the other girl had been holding on to this, thinking that refusing the tears made her strong. In Summer’s experience, that only led, in the end, to an overflowing explosion that made things worse before they got better. But maybe she was biased.

mischief-mistress:

iamthefirechild:

“Oh, Lex. Did you tell him anything true about yourself?” So much hurting … Summer bit her lip, watching Lex try to hold herself together with darkened eyes. She led the witchgirl into a copse of trees, hoping the foliage would be enough to shield them from any prying eyes. “No, don’t answer that yet. Is Magnus still missing?”

Lex looked up to her, deep hurt in her eyes. “I know I messed up, okay? I know that very well. I’m not trying to justify anything I did, right?” She walked with Summer to a copse of trees, leaning against one of them. The witch closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. Then she shook her head. “No, he was never really missing.” Her lips trembled as she continued. “This… incarnation of Loki appeared… Dalie… and he claimed Magnus as his toy or whatever sick shit, and he stayed at his apartment. He… abused…” Lex stopped talking again, she couldn’t do this. Hoping Summer would understand what she wanted to say, Lex spoke again. “Another incarnation appeared… jealous of Dalie… and he tortured Magnus… When I managed to talk to him again, he didn’t want to tell me anything, I was worried as fuck, and… then he found out I was a witch, and that was not really our best conversation. He told me everything then. I was so angry that he didn’t tell me earlier, because I could have done something…”

All that guilt… it was slowly eating her up. “I wanted to help him so bad, I went to talk to Dalie, but he cursed me. I lost my powers for seven days. I still don’t have them back, though it can’t be long anymore… Anyways, after that, I couldn’t do anything for him. I was… I am useless. I tried to talk to Magnus again, but it was all too much…” Lex was breathing incoherently now, and tears were in her eyes. She didn’t care anymore that Summer was a stranger for her. She had to get this out. All that tension, all that fear…

“He threatened me with a knife. And I- I really thought he would stab me. I won’t lie to you… maybe I simply deserved it.” she sobbed, clenching her hands into fists. “I just stood there, shocked…” the tears were running down her face now, but Lex really didn’t care anymore. 

“No.” Summer spoke softly, but let her tone be a lash. She reached out for Lex’s wrist and drew the other woman close, putting an arm around her shoulder. Without her consciously being aware of it, the corresponding wing flexed and spread, cupping Lex in a greater embrace.

“Don’t take more blame than is yours already. Bad luck, your timing, yes, but don’t crush yourself under it.” She looked Lex right in the eyes, ignoring the tears. “He’ll need you, then, if he’s to cope with this. Loki is … Loki can be cruel. Some of him, anyway.”

Biting at her lip, she pulled on Lex’s pain and guilt, drawing it in, trying to lance the ache just a little bit. “There, shhh. Hold on to me. You can let it go, now.”

mischief-mistress:

iamthefirechild:

“Ah,” Summer said. “Somehow, that doesn’t come as a surprise. I’m not quite sure why you say that makes you not human, though.” She tried to fold her arms behind her back, got tangled in the wing-feathers, and finally settled for putting them in her pockets. “I’m an empath and a pyrokinetic, but I’m still human.”

Surprised, Lex looked at Summer. “Well, let’s say I have met quite a few humans who didn’t think that way,” she replied sadly. Lex felt bad for Summer as she saw how she got tangled with her wings, but preferred not to say anything. More surprise, and a certain fascination crept into her eyes after hearing what else Summer was. “Empath? So you can feel what others feel? And you control the fire… interesting.” 

They made their way through the park. Lex loved to be in contact with nature, and she needed her magic back so badly now…

“Well, returning to my story… So, it all started when I met this detective… Magnus, he’s called. And, uhm, I wasn’t exactly honest with him. I just… I really didn’t think about what I was doing, I just wanted to have fun for a while, so I lied to him. I saw him in the police station, and I thought it would be amusing to see how everything turned out. I told him someone had stolen my purse, and that I didn’t have a place to stay. The last thing was true, but still. It was all just a prank… I also didn’t tell him I was a witch.” Lex closed her eyes, trying to fight back the tears that threatened to well up. She took a deep breath and continued speaking, trying to ignore the guilt that was poisoning her slowly. “Everything was going well; he was really nice, and I started to like him… as a friend… I don’t usually care about people, not after how most of them treated me… but he… was different. I don’t know if it was because he didn’t know what I really was, but… So I didn’t know if I should continue with the whole thing or just tell him the truth about me, but then he suddenly disappeared. And that’s when everything went even more downwards.”

Lex’s voice broke after that sentence; she swallowed and crossed her arms over her chest, like she was trying to hold herself. 

“Oh, Lex. Did you tell him anything true about yourself?” So much hurting … Summer bit her lip, watching Lex try to hold herself together with darkened eyes. She led the witchgirl into a copse of trees, hoping the foliage would be enough to shield them from any prying eyes. “No, don’t answer that yet. Is Magnus still missing?”

mischief-mistress:

iamthefirechild:

“Sometimes, just putting it in words, instead of having it go round in circles in your mind, can let you find a solution,” Summer offered. Drawing a deep breath, she stepped beside the other woman and nodded her head toward the park. “Walk with me.”

“The solution is actually quite simple, I believe. It’s just… Okay, I’ll start from the beginning.” Lex sighed nervously, fidgeting with her hands. Biting down on her lower lip, she started to walk in the direction Summer has nodded to. “Well… first of all, you should know something about me… I’m not completely human. I’m a-” Lex hesitated, “I’m a witch.” she finally said.

“Ah,” Summer said. “Somehow, that doesn’t come as a surprise. I’m not quite sure why you say that makes you not human, though.” She tried to fold her arms behind her back, got tangled in the wing-feathers, and finally settled for putting them in her pockets. “I’m an empath and a pyrokinetic, but I’m still human.”

mischief-mistress:

iamthefirechild:

“You want to at least talk about it? It’s on you pretty hard, I can tell. And I’m good at listening.” She reached out to offer a hug, then remembered and pulled back a little. “We can go sit in the park, away from anybody else.”

Lex wondered for a while if she should say yes or just refuse. It would be good, actually, to talk to someone. But… she didn’t want to relive again. She sighed heavily, shrugging her shoulders. “Uhm… Okay, why not?” she said, unsure about if she really wanted to do this. Summer was a complete stranger, but maybe that was the reason why she would give in. 

“Sometimes, just putting it in words, instead of having it go round in circles in your mind, can let you find a solution,” Summer offered. Drawing a deep breath, she stepped beside the other woman and nodded her head toward the park. “Walk with me.”

mischief-mistress:

iamthefirechild:

She wanted desperately to ask why that spike of gladness was leavened so strongly with fear, but she’d dumped enough on this poor woman already. Better not to shove the whole empath thing in her face too soon. “One can never have enough friends,” she said instead, managing a smile of her own. “Especially these days.”

Lex felt as if Summer was reading her thoughts. “You can say that out loud.” she said, her smile turning kind of sad now, remembering Magnus and how everything went wrong. How would Summer react if Lex told her she was in fact a witch? 

“You want to at least talk about it? It’s on you pretty hard, I can tell. And I’m good at listening.” She reached out to offer a hug, then remembered and pulled back a little. “We can go sit in the park, away from anybody else.”

mischief-mistress:

iamthefirechild:

Fishing around in her back pocket, Summer came up with a card. “Here. If you change your mind, or really anything at all, you can call me.” 

Another surprised look crossed Lex’s face, but the first warm smile in days spread on her lips as Summer gave her her number. “Thank you, I’ll definitely do that some day.” If I get out of this alive. 

She wanted desperately to ask why that spike of gladness was leavened so strongly with fear, but she’d dumped enough on this poor woman already. Better not to shove the whole empath thing in her face too soon. “One can never have enough friends,” she said instead, managing a smile of her own. “Especially these days.”

mischief-mistress:

iamthefirechild:

Lex’s emotions made Summer laugh a little. “Shouldn’t it be the other way ‘round? My problem will pass, they always do. But neither of us really wants help or thinks she can be helped.” Offering her hand, she added, “Thank you. Just that someone even tries to care helps a lot.”

Lex shrugged. “Oh well. It’s not that I don’t want help. It’s just that I can’t bear to bring more people into that. I’ve already done enough damage.” she said. Alexia arched one eyebrow as Summer extended her hand, but she took it nonetheless, shaking it slowly. “You’re welcome, then.” Lex replied, flashing a weak smile.

Fishing around in her back pocket, Summer came up with a card. “Here. If you change your mind, or really anything at all, you can call me.”