xregicide-deactivated20140812:
The young soldiers head snapped up from his knees, startled by the sudden intrusion, quickly wiping his eyes – although he doubted it would matter. No one could tell the difference between water and tears. “N-nothing, why?”
“You are tearing yourself apart on the inside.” Summer speaks very quietly, because what she wants to do is get up and shake him until he sees sense. “I don’t want to have to come tearing in here one day because you decided it hurt too much to go on.” She sighs, and looks down at her hands. “Look, here’s the thing. I haven’t been there, but I don’t get to choose knowing about you being there. So I know what it’s like.”
Mordred doesn’t answer her, he dries his hair against the towel before even considering answering her. “And what makes you think it will come to that?” He asks, turning towards her, “I’ve done it for the last twenty one years, I can continue doing it.”
“It’s exactly that that makes me think it.” She rubs her hands together, fingers twisting and knotting around each other. “You can only carry so much. One day you’ll break. You think you have to be strong and alone and not tell anyone, that you’ll seem weak if you let anyone else see, but that’s not how it works. The hardest thing is letting someone in. I’m just saying, it doesn’t have to be me, but someone. Merlin. You love him, you trust him.”
Please don’t let me fail someone else.