@dukehumphrey

dukehumphrey:

iamthefirechild:

“So you wish me to come and live with you for a few months, and at the end of that time, send you off to possibly die.” Summer’s mouth tightened. “You spoke a moment ago of fate and her cruelties. You are what God uses to punish me for my sins. I never expected to see you again, and I was content with that.” Her hands trembled.

“It is easy to go on loving someone whom you never see. It is like a constant, steady flame, the presence light of life. But when that person comes closer, the flame becomes a roaring fire, and it consumes. You consume me.” Her voice shook, and she paused to swallow hard. “My lord, I have never stopped loving you, and so I cannot accept your offer, no matter how generous it is.”

“Women…” Humphrey mumbled as she spoke about sending him off to die, “They are always so smart they even outsmart themselves.” He was so stuck in the thought, that he almost missed what she said next.

“You cannot love me,” he said, in protest, yet softly, kindly. “In truth I think no one can. Because of what you say, I am a bad omen. I am not a constant, I change and I move on to new and even newer things and I just never stay put. And my heart, that never stays put. It never stays with one woman, Summer,” he said. “You really should not love me. I just hurt those who love me. Sometimes I think it would be best if Phillip won that tourney, but then that would also break hearts. And Jacqueline would certainly lose all her inheritance. But in all honesty, even if I win the tourney, she already lost me. I know and there is no reason. I just grow tired with everything so fast. There is always a next best thing, a new adventure, or a new conquest.” He was calm as he explained. “I never told this to anyone.”

The longer he spoke, the more incensed she became. When he finally, finally fell silent, her teeth were grinding, her fists were clenched, and every muscle in her body was wire-tight with anger. She exploded up off the bench, pacing a few steps forward, then wheeling back toward the Duke.

“How dare you,” she hissed. “How dare you tell me what I can feel. Where have I asked of you that you love me too? You are a married man, you are a Duke of the realm. I do not ask. But you may not speak to me so casually of what I feel, what I may feel. God gives me free will, and though I have willing not to love you, He has given that I shall go on doing so.”

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