gadgeteerphilanthropist:

iamthefirechild:

“… I’m supposed to ask?” It was all she could get out, completely confused by the rush of words. The fire subsided back to a normal blaze as she stared at him. “I — I was trying to — I didn’t — I didn’t want you to think it was about your money. Or anything at all but just you.” Summer opened her mouth to apologise, shut it again.  Drew a deep breath, let it out slowly, like meditation.

He was right. She wished it could have come out in any other circumstances but these, but he was right. She’d been flinching for six months, waiting for him to tire of her, and every sense she owned had been telling her it wasn’t going to happen. Tony cared enough about her, about what they had, to tell his oldest and dearest friend that — insecurity tried to whisper, ‘maybe he didn’t mean you’, and she smashed it.

“Tony, may I have a kiss before you go to bed? I’d like to stay, with both of you.” With every word, the fire died down a little more, until it was glittering coals. “I’ll try to … take you a little more for granted.” Summer offered that with a half-smile, trying to joke. “And I, um, can I have a bath first?”

All of his irritation just sort of…fell away, as a perplexed look crossed his face.  “Well…yeah,” he replied, sounding so openly bemused it would have been funny in any other situation.  He offered something that was some approximation of a smile.  “You’d probably have to ask me for a new car a week to come anywhere close to convincing me you’re only in this for the money.  I let you in my head.  I don’t do that for gold diggers.”

Tony was good at figuring people out, but it was…a bit selective.  He could find buttons, and he could pick out just the right way to push them.  He knew how to poke and prod to get people to do what he wanted, usually.  Figuring people out on a deeper level was a bit harder.  Especially if a certain person happened to be going to every length possible to hide that they ever wanted something, to avoid coming across as needy, well, then he was just up the creek.

He tilted her chin up and kissed her, short and chaste compared to usual, because after everything that had happened over the course of the night, he just wasn’t in the mood for anything more; it did occasionally happen.  “If you do plan on staying the night, you’ll need to either take a guest room or camp out here in the living room,” he reminded her wryly, “since Dummy’s only just agreed to give the whole thing a chance, and I’d rather not induce a short.  And I feel like we might be just a bit clingy tonight.”  He sighed and gave her a smile, small and tired—physically, mentally, everything—and gestured towards the bathroom.  “You know you’re always welcome to my facilities.”

“I’ve started rereading Kushiel, so I’ll probably end up falling asleep on the couch,” Summer told him. She put her arms around him, holding tight, wishing she could come to bed with them both already. “I will expect you to tell me, then, when I can,” she fished around for the right word, “join you both? Since you know him better than I, just now. And, um, tell Dummy tonight, from me, that I will love him if he lets me?”

Somehow, asking that was more nervewracking and embarrassing than any of the rest of the whole night had been. Summer didn’t really wait for an answer, blushing and trying to hide it by ducking for the bathroom right away.

gadgeteerphilanthropist:

iamthefirechild:

gadgeteerphilanthropist:

iamthefirechild:

“Ahh.” Summer didn’t turn around until she was sure she had her expression under control. “Tony. Um. Should I — ” She hesitated, then gave up and plunged in. “What you told Dummy. Is it what you want? I can stop. If you need me to.” ‘I think,’ she couldn’t help but add, in her mind. “I mean that you two love each other, and I don’t want to be in the way. Or, I can talk to Dummy?”

Tony lifted his head enough to give Summer a look so flat it made the bar top look like a washboard.  “No.  I brought it up and distressed him into shooting himself just for shits and giggles,” he replied.  “Fucking seriously?  We’re bringing this up now?”  He curled one arm on the couch and dropped his head down on it, voice muffled when he said, “Has it just not occurred to you that if I wanted you to stop I would tell you to stop?”

“Shut it a second! I wasn’t there, I have no idea how things went between the two of you. Okay? And I’m not actually saying this because of /you/. It’s not, as should be clear right about now,” she bit out, “all about you. For all I know, polyamory was brought up because you’re seeing, oh, Thor on the side or something! Or he’s involved with fucking JARVIS!” The fire blazed up, high and hot and crawling wide to the edge of the hearth.

“We’ve never, ever defined the boundaries of our relationship, Tony. Not at all. You pet my ego when I get insecure, and that is /it/.” Summer stalked over to stand over the couch, fists clenched. “So I am telling you, for /Dummy’s/ sake, for your sake, that if what he needs and you want to give is monogamy, then I will do that. For the two of you. In the meantime,” she breathed out hard, “should I talk to Dummy?”

“Then say what you mean,” Tony replied calmly, sitting himself up.  “You just asked me what I wanted.  You told me you would stop, if that is what I wanted.  So do not start in on it like I’m ignoring everything you’re saying.  If you want to talk about you, then talk about you.”

He folded his arms over his knees, hunching over them and looking up at her.  “We’ve never defined it because I was never aware we had to.  You told me you love me, and that as long as I didn’t throw you out and I let you know when you were going too far, it was enough; to date, I’ve asked you to leave once, and I have never actually thrown you out.  So pardon me for taking you at your word.  Pardon me for just treating you like family, because god forbid I not give more when you aren’t asking.  Pardon me for not giving more when all you’ve ever actually asked me for is a bag of M&Ms or more time, when I’ve already got an open door policy where you’re concerned.  Pardon me if I’m willing to listen to anything you need to say, but you think I’ll break into pieces the instant you stop talking about sunshine and daisies.”

He got to his feet.  “In the meantime, you need to not burn down my living room.  I’m going to bed.  You can stay, you can go, take your pick.  But if you’re going to talk to Dummy, at least wait until the entire situation has settled down.”

“… I’m supposed to ask?” It was all she could get out, completely confused by the rush of words. The fire subsided back to a normal blaze as she stared at him. “I — I was trying to — I didn’t — I didn’t want you to think it was about your money. Or anything at all but just you.” Summer opened her mouth to apologise, shut it again.  Drew a deep breath, let it out slowly, like meditation.

He was right. She wished it could have come out in any other circumstances but these, but he was right. She’d been flinching for six months, waiting for him to tire of her, and every sense she owned had been telling her it wasn’t going to happen. Tony cared enough about her, about what they had, to tell his oldest and dearest friend that — insecurity tried to whisper, ‘maybe he didn’t mean you’, and she smashed it.

“Tony, may I have a kiss before you go to bed? I’d like to stay, with both of you.” With every word, the fire died down a little more, until it was glittering coals. “I’ll try to … take you a little more for granted.” Summer offered that with a half-smile, trying to joke. “And I, um, can I have a bath first?”

gadgeteerphilanthropist:

iamthefirechild:

“Ahh.” Summer didn’t turn around until she was sure she had her expression under control. “Tony. Um. Should I — ” She hesitated, then gave up and plunged in. “What you told Dummy. Is it what you want? I can stop. If you need me to.” ‘I think,’ she couldn’t help but add, in her mind. “I mean that you two love each other, and I don’t want to be in the way. Or, I can talk to Dummy?”

Tony lifted his head enough to give Summer a look so flat it made the bar top look like a washboard.  “No.  I brought it up and distressed him into shooting himself just for shits and giggles,” he replied.  “Fucking seriously?  We’re bringing this up now?”  He curled one arm on the couch and dropped his head down on it, voice muffled when he said, “Has it just not occurred to you that if I wanted you to stop I would tell you to stop?”

“Shut it a second! I wasn’t there, I have no idea how things went between the two of you. Okay? And I’m not actually saying this because of /you/. It’s not, as should be clear right about now,” she bit out, “all about you. For all I know, polyamory was brought up because you’re seeing, oh, Thor on the side or something! Or he’s involved with fucking JARVIS!” The fire blazed up, high and hot and crawling wide to the edge of the hearth.

“We’ve never, ever defined the boundaries of our relationship, Tony. Not at all. You pet my ego when I get insecure, and that is /it/.” Summer stalked over to stand over the couch, fists clenched. “So I am telling you, for /Dummy’s/ sake, for your sake, that if what he needs and you want to give is monogamy, then I will do that. For the two of you. In the meantime,” she breathed out hard, “should I talk to Dummy?”

gadgeteerphilanthropist:

iamthefirechild:

gadgeteerphilanthropist:

iamthefirechild:

“No, Tony,” she told him, leaning to catch his eyes. “It’s fine. Don’t start that.” Unwinding herself from the floor, she stretched, bones and tendons crackling from tension released. “Come on,” Summer said, holding a hand down. She held the other hand behind her, balancing a flame on it. She didn’t have time to have convulsions right now.

Tony took her hand and levered himself back to his feet.  He dug the heel of one hand against his eyes and then dragged his fingers through his hair.  When he saw a flicker of light, he glanced towards the fire, one corner of his mouth ticking up in a tired half smile for a moment.  “You can go burn it off, if you need to,” he said.  “I’m pretty sure I can take care of myself from here.”

“I have a better idea. You come wash your face and I’ll start a fire in the fireplace,” Summer replied, leaning up to kiss the edge of the smile. “I have some things I want to say, and then we’re going to watch Mythbusters until you fall asleep.” She didn’t let him object, just pulled on the hand she held, pushing him into the bathroom before kneeling in front of the fireplace. Shooing the sliver of fire on her hand into the arch of it, she thought about all the things she wanted to say.

“We can’t for too long,” he interjected, as he turned on the tap in the bathroom.  “Pretty sure Dummy’s in my room, so I’ve gotta head in there to bed at some point.”  He cupped his hands under the water, ducked his head slightly to splash his face, and dragged his fingers through his hair.  He turned off the water and wandered out of the bathroom, to topple face down on the couch.

“Ahh.” Summer didn’t turn around until she was sure she had her expression under control. “Tony. Um. Should I — ” She hesitated, then gave up and plunged in. “What you told Dummy. Is it what you want? I can stop. If you need me to.” ‘I think,’ she couldn’t help but add, in her mind. “I mean that you two love each other, and I don’t want to be in the way. Or, I can talk to Dummy?”

gadgeteerphilanthropist:

iamthefirechild:

“No, Tony,” she told him, leaning to catch his eyes. “It’s fine. Don’t start that.” Unwinding herself from the floor, she stretched, bones and tendons crackling from tension released. “Come on,” Summer said, holding a hand down. She held the other hand behind her, balancing a flame on it. She didn’t have time to have convulsions right now.

Tony took her hand and levered himself back to his feet.  He dug the heel of one hand against his eyes and then dragged his fingers through his hair.  When he saw a flicker of light, he glanced towards the fire, one corner of his mouth ticking up in a tired half smile for a moment.  “You can go burn it off, if you need to,” he said.  “I’m pretty sure I can take care of myself from here.”

“I have a better idea. You come wash your face and I’ll start a fire in the fireplace,” Summer replied, leaning up to kiss the edge of the smile. “I have some things I want to say, and then we’re going to watch Mythbusters until you fall asleep.” She didn’t let him object, just pulled on the hand she held, pushing him into the bathroom before kneeling in front of the fireplace. Shooing the sliver of fire on her hand into the arch of it, she thought about all the things she wanted to say.

gadgeteerphilanthropist:

iamthefirechild:

gadgeteerphilanthropist:

iamthefirechild:

“Oh, darling, darling,” Summer crooned, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. “You don’t have to carry it all alone, you don’t.” She cupped her hand around the back of his head, stroking gently, holding with all the love she could find. “Just let it all go. I can hold it, I’ll help you. I’m here, I love you. Please cry, darling.” It hurt, carrying his pain, but better her than anyone else. And she resolved to seek out Dummy at the first opportunity after she’d settled Tony.

Which might be a while, but that was fine. That was just fine.

Tony shook his head quickly, though it wasn’t clear if he was even listening to anything she was saying at that point.  His hold on her tightened, one arm still around her shoulders, his other hand fisted tightly against his knee.  For a few more moments, he tried to keep himself in check, drawn taut and trembling, before something finally gave.  His shoulders slumped, and he made a small noise, something like a gasp, and he leaned against her as he finally cracked entirely.

Summer sucked in a breath as she sensed the dam give way. Her own eyes slipped closed, tears dropping from under the closed lids. Slowly, she rocked Tony back and forth, kissing every part of him that she could reach, humming lightly. “There, there, shhh darling … ” Without forcing a change of emotion in any way, she let him feel how much she cared, how loved he was, wrapped him around in warmth and sympathy.

He was quiet through his catharsis.  Some things wouldn’t change, and the bleaker his feelings got, the quieter he kept them.  But he released them, at least, which was a rarity.  Used Summer as a life line, and let them go.

Eventually, he calmed.  He leaned away from her slowly, staring down at his hands as they fell to his lap.  He cast a quick glance at her, before looking down again with some embarrassment.

“No, Tony,” she told him, leaning to catch his eyes. “It’s fine. Don’t start that.” Unwinding herself from the floor, she stretched, bones and tendons crackling from tension released. “Come on,” Summer said, holding a hand down. She held the other hand behind her, balancing a flame on it. She didn’t have time to have convulsions right now.

gadgeteerphilanthropist:

iamthefirechild:

“Oh, darling, darling,” Summer crooned, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. “You don’t have to carry it all alone, you don’t.” She cupped her hand around the back of his head, stroking gently, holding with all the love she could find. “Just let it all go. I can hold it, I’ll help you. I’m here, I love you. Please cry, darling.” It hurt, carrying his pain, but better her than anyone else. And she resolved to seek out Dummy at the first opportunity after she’d settled Tony.

Which might be a while, but that was fine. That was just fine.

Tony shook his head quickly, though it wasn’t clear if he was even listening to anything she was saying at that point.  His hold on her tightened, one arm still around her shoulders, his other hand fisted tightly against his knee.  For a few more moments, he tried to keep himself in check, drawn taut and trembling, before something finally gave.  His shoulders slumped, and he made a small noise, something like a gasp, and he leaned against her as he finally cracked entirely.

Summer sucked in a breath as she sensed the dam give way. Her own eyes slipped closed, tears dropping from under the closed lids. Slowly, she rocked Tony back and forth, kissing every part of him that she could reach, humming lightly. “There, there, shhh darling … ” Without forcing a change of emotion in any way, she let him feel how much she cared, how loved he was, wrapped him around in warmth and sympathy.

gadgeteerphilanthropist:

iamthefirechild:

gadgeteerphilanthropist:

iamthefirechild:

Summer had been feeling … off, for hours. That horrible, “something is wrong but I can’t figure out what” feeling that made her restless and snappish. When she’d gotten Tony’s text, she’d flung herself out the door so fast she was barefoot, loose-locked, and still wearing house-lounging clothes, wrapped up in a big woolen cloak. She dropped to her knees beside Tony, grabbing his hands. 

“What happened? You feel like you just walked through hell.”

Tony laughed weakly, letting his head thunk back against the wall.  “I, ah,” he cleared his throat, “I had an incident with Dummy.  He asked me to marry him.  And I freaked the fuck out and left.”  He snorted.  “So I went back to talk to him, and everything just kind of locked up once the word polyamory got involved, and he broke up with me.  So I left, only to have to run back because he shot himself.  So I had to drag him to the workshop to put him back together, and he’s telling me not to the entire way, and when he woke up later he would have started trying to take himself apart if I hadn’t showed up as soon as I did.” 

He leaned his head to the side to scrub his eyes against his upper arm, since Summer had his hands.  “So I got him calmed down, and I think we got everything figured out and I’m pretty sure we’re okay now, but it’s, uh,” he laughed, short and somewhat hysterical, “it’s been quite a night.”

He lifted his head to look at her again, eyes wide and damp, and there was a tense pause before he managed a somewhat strangled, “Shit,” and let his head drop to his knee, pulling his hands away from Summer to bring his arms up to hide his head.  Because that would magically hide the fact that he was having a break down in the middle of his office floor.

With every word, Summer’s heart sank more. “Tony, why didn’t you call me?” She put her arms around him, dragging him out of his curl to hold his head to her chest. “Shh,” she murmured, rocking a little. “Let it go, love, please let it go.” She laid herself completely open to his emotions, tears dropping from her eyes into his hair, stroking her fingers through it. With one hand, she got the shot glass away from him, putting it up on the desk.

“I was a little busy,” he mumbled in reply, voice unsteady, moving easily as she pulled him closer.  For a few long moments, he didn’t move at all, staying limp.  Finally, though, he tucked his head against the crook of her shoulder, curling one arm around her shoulders.  There was a harsh, bitten off breath that could have been a mangled sob, before he fell silent again, shoulders shaking.

“Oh, darling, darling,” Summer crooned, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. “You don’t have to carry it all alone, you don’t.” She cupped her hand around the back of his head, stroking gently, holding with all the love she could find. “Just let it all go. I can hold it, I’ll help you. I’m here, I love you. Please cry, darling.” It hurt, carrying his pain, but better her than anyone else. And she resolved to seek out Dummy at the first opportunity after she’d settled Tony.

Which might be a while, but that was fine. That was just fine.

gadgeteerphilanthropist:

iamthefirechild:

Summer had been feeling … off, for hours. That horrible, “something is wrong but I can’t figure out what” feeling that made her restless and snappish. When she’d gotten Tony’s text, she’d flung herself out the door so fast she was barefoot, loose-locked, and still wearing house-lounging clothes, wrapped up in a big woolen cloak. She dropped to her knees beside Tony, grabbing his hands. 

“What happened? You feel like you just walked through hell.”

Tony laughed weakly, letting his head thunk back against the wall.  “I, ah,” he cleared his throat, “I had an incident with Dummy.  He asked me to marry him.  And I freaked the fuck out and left.”  He snorted.  “So I went back to talk to him, and everything just kind of locked up once the word polyamory got involved, and he broke up with me.  So I left, only to have to run back because he shot himself.  So I had to drag him to the workshop to put him back together, and he’s telling me not to the entire way, and when he woke up later he would have started trying to take himself apart if I hadn’t showed up as soon as I did.” 

He leaned his head to the side to scrub his eyes against his upper arm, since Summer had his hands.  “So I got him calmed down, and I think we got everything figured out and I’m pretty sure we’re okay now, but it’s, uh,” he laughed, short and somewhat hysterical, “it’s been quite a night.”

He lifted his head to look at her again, eyes wide and damp, and there was a tense pause before he managed a somewhat strangled, “Shit,” and let his head drop to his knee, pulling his hands away from Summer to bring his arms up to hide his head.  Because that would magically hide the fact that he was having a break down in the middle of his office floor.

With every word, Summer’s heart sank more. “Tony, why didn’t you call me?” She put her arms around him, dragging him out of his curl to hold his head to her chest. “Shh,” she murmured, rocking a little. “Let it go, love, please let it go.” She laid herself completely open to his emotions, tears dropping from her eyes into his hair, stroking her fingers through it. With one hand, she got the shot glass away from him, putting it up on the desk.

gadgeteerphilanthropist:

Tony had sent his text at nearly half past midnight, so it was no surprise when Summer showed up fairly late.  Jarvis let her in silently, the only elevator that would open being the one that would let her out near Tony’s office.

His office was…clean.  Amazingly clean.  Cleaner than it had been in years, in fact.  After all, he’d had to keep himself busy somehow when he’d been waiting for Dummy to wake up, and he’d been a bit too scatterbrained to actually work on anything.

He was sitting on the floor beside the desk, one knee drawn up, passing an empty shot glass from one hand to another.  He glanced up at her, offering a half-smile like he was going to fall apart with the next breeze.

“Hey,” he greeted, scrounging up something almost resembling cheer.  “You know, he was very thorough when he cleared out the bar.”

Summer had been feeling … off, for hours. That horrible, “something is wrong but I can’t figure out what” feeling that made her restless and snappish. When she’d gotten Tony’s text, she’d flung herself out the door so fast she was barefoot, loose-locked, and still wearing house-lounging clothes, wrapped up in a big woolen cloak. She dropped to her knees beside Tony, grabbing his hands. 

“What happened? You feel like you just walked through hell.”