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This Isn’t Everything You Are

lokilaufeyyson:

Loki could not help a slight pang of disappointment when he woke up alone in his bed.  Then again, when he was honest with himself, it had never been any other way.  He had used and been used, but when the light of day exposed him, he only had himself.

Rising to look out the window, he stole a glance around the dividing wall to where Summer lay, sunk in among the pillows, mostly covered by her hair.  He leaned his head gently against the wall and listened to her breathing in and out, very quietly, gently.  That eased his conscience a bit, after what he had put her through, and he was selfish enough to want to ease it.

A strangled wail emerged from the heap of pillows, and Summer flung one hand out across the width of the bed. “Don’t … ” she cried, muffled, then squirmed deeper under the covers, breathing turned harsh.

Sleeping to Dream

Summer sleeps. It’s an emulation of her usual postures: sprawled, cat-like, taking up far more space than seems geometrically possible for a person of her size. Her hands are tucked close, though, clutching coverlets around her shoulders, the lower half of her face hidden by the fabric.

Tearstains mark the pillows she’s snuggled up to, betraying evidence of how she achieved sleep, and those covers not clutched close are jumbled awry by restless dreams. Her face now moves in those same dreams: anguish, yearning, pleading.

Loki and the firechild

lokilaufeyyson:

iamthefirechild:

lokilaufeyyson:

iamthefirechild:

Anger and pain, rage and cruelty … they poured through her in a never ending flood, and Summer clenched her hands into fists, unconsciously weeping with the burn of it. They were fighting now; she could almost see it behind her eyes.

Almost wasn’t enough. She dropped lower, then lower, eyes half-lidded and moving solely on the line of emotions. Something barred her path, and she shoved fire into it until it exploded from pure heat, and another, and then cool stone lay beneath her feet, and Loki held a giant being at bay, cruelty dripping off him like water after rain.

“I can kill you, Thanos,” Loki whispered, holding him down with a ray of light from the spear.  ”I can kill you because now I have real reason to.  You have threatened not only me, but another, innocent.”  He plunged the spear into his chest, and narrowed his eyes, almost smiling, when Thanos screamed out in pain.  ”And I am not always without sentiment.”  He twisted the blade.

Summer’s scream echoed Thanos’. The pain was beyond outrageous. She dropped to the floor, bracing herself on hands and knees, breathing hard. “Don’t — play, Loki,” she gritted. “I’m in his — mind.” Clawing one hand off the floor, she shaped the pain into an enormous, swirling fireball, and flung it at Thanos.

Loki raised his eyebrows and stepped back slowly as the mass of flame hit its target.  He ripped the spear from the creature and watched proudly as he clutched at his own body, life leaving him, until finally he was still.  It was done, then.  A great hiss of air left his lungs in an exhale he did not know he had been holding back.  For a moment, the entirety of this forsaken place seemed to be still, resting, emptied of all action.  Loki turned slowly and allowed his eyes to focus on Summer, staring at her reverently.  He said volumes with that look.

And then the sound of an approaching army did a rather successful job of breaking the moment.

“I would suggest we run.”

Staggering to her feet, Summer clutched her arms around herself, trying to hold herself together. Tears ran down her face unnoticed. “Go first, then. I can fly. Go!” The last was a shout, over her shoulder, as she turned to face the direction of the sound. Wisps of fire began to swirl around her form again, even with arms locked tight around her shoulders and feet planted wide for balance.

Death chimed up and down her bones, making them sing out in cruel arpeggios. Summer wanted to be out of here, wanted to be home, safe, up to her neck in literal hot water and not metaphorical.

Wanted the pain to stop, wanted to believe Loki had listened to her.

Wanted to believe what his last look had implied.

Staring into the darkness, she held her ground, giving him time to escape.

Loki and the firechild

lokilaufeyyson:

iamthefirechild:

lokilaufeyyson:

iamthefirechild:

Summer turned the little knife over, then shoved it into the top of her boot. Wings flaring, she leaped for the shrouded sky, latched on to that beacon of terrible cruelty, and pulled, dumping the emotions back out as a rain of fire as fast as possible.

It hurt. Gods, it burned, not like familiar fire, but like acid, like freezing, like pain beyond pain. She wanted to vomit, channelling those emotions; she wanted to curl up into a ball and scream her anguish to the high heavens. Instead she gritted her teeth and held on, spinning a whirling cocoon of flame about herself, and loosing spits and flares of fire in all directions.

Loki darted into the lower entrance, knowing the way by instinct of his cruel memories.  He knew he was being fueled by pure hatred and rage and he didn’t care in the slightest.  He swore he could feel Summer’s energy above him, he could feel the heat and the pinpricks of sensation all over his body.  

He would owe her a lot for this.

Thanos was slouched over an oversized throne in a posture that was eerily familiar to the fallen prince of Asgard.  He drew in a quick hiss of air, and they locked eyes.  ”Do you feel that?” He snarled, before Thanos could say a word.  ”That is my secret weapon.  Tell me, what do you feel?”  He materialized a long spear and spun it swiftly across Thanos’s face, drawing blood.  

He glared back at Loki, bearing his teeth.  ”Laufeyson, you dare…challenge me?  I, who own your mind, and all the worlds?”  There was a catch in his voice though, and Loki could hear it.  He was weak. 

Loki threw a frenzied disarming spell over him, and grinned a sickening smile when he saw it taking hold.  Just enough time to play with his catch.  He found himself wishing Summer was there to see…

Anger and pain, rage and cruelty … they poured through her in a never ending flood, and Summer clenched her hands into fists, unconsciously weeping with the burn of it. They were fighting now; she could almost see it behind her eyes.

Almost wasn’t enough. She dropped lower, then lower, eyes half-lidded and moving solely on the line of emotions. Something barred her path, and she shoved fire into it until it exploded from pure heat, and another, and then cool stone lay beneath her feet, and Loki held a giant being at bay, cruelty dripping off him like water after rain.

“I can kill you, Thanos,” Loki whispered, holding him down with a ray of light from the spear.  ”I can kill you because now I have real reason to.  You have threatened not only me, but another, innocent.”  He plunged the spear into his chest, and narrowed his eyes, almost smiling, when Thanos screamed out in pain.  ”And I am not always without sentiment.”  He twisted the blade.

Summer’s scream echoed Thanos’. The pain was beyond outrageous. She dropped to the floor, bracing herself on hands and knees, breathing hard. “Don’t — play, Loki,” she gritted. “I’m in his — mind.” Clawing one hand off the floor, she shaped the pain into an enormous, swirling fireball, and flung it at Thanos.

Loki and the firechild

lokilaufeyyson:

iamthefirechild:

lokilaufeyyson:

i-am-the-firechild:

She drew in a deep breath. This was Loki. God of Mischief. The demi-god who had nearly destroyed New York City.

A man who, this whole time, had only asked. Not demanded, or commanded, but asked.

She poured out confidence and strength. ”What do you need me to do?”

A small smile quirked at the edges of his lips.  He handed her a knife.  ”What you do best.  Display your incredible gifts.”  He knew she would understand.  ”Here,” he murmured, dragging a finger down her throat, sending a cool antidote into her lungs.  Then he threw forth the full blast of his spell, growling ancient words into the sky.  A thick storm cloud gathered over the fortress, throwing all into a confusion of gray, mottled darkness even more absolute than before.  ”Now, we attack while they are weak.”

Summer turned the little knife over, then shoved it into the top of her boot. Wings flaring, she leaped for the shrouded sky, latched on to that beacon of terrible cruelty, and pulled, dumping the emotions back out as a rain of fire as fast as possible.

It hurt. Gods, it burned, not like familiar fire, but like acid, like freezing, like pain beyond pain. She wanted to vomit, channelling those emotions; she wanted to curl up into a ball and scream her anguish to the high heavens. Instead she gritted her teeth and held on, spinning a whirling cocoon of flame about herself, and loosing spits and flares of fire in all directions.

Loki darted into the lower entrance, knowing the way by instinct of his cruel memories.  He knew he was being fueled by pure hatred and rage and he didn’t care in the slightest.  He swore he could feel Summer’s energy above him, he could feel the heat and the pinpricks of sensation all over his body.  

He would owe her a lot for this.

Thanos was slouched over an oversized throne in a posture that was eerily familiar to the fallen prince of Asgard.  He drew in a quick hiss of air, and they locked eyes.  ”Do you feel that?” He snarled, before Thanos could say a word.  ”That is my secret weapon.  Tell me, what do you feel?”  He materialized a long spear and spun it swiftly across Thanos’s face, drawing blood.  

He glared back at Loki, bearing his teeth.  ”Laufeyson, you dare…challenge me?  I, who own your mind, and all the worlds?”  There was a catch in his voice though, and Loki could hear it.  He was weak. 

Loki threw a frenzied disarming spell over him, and grinned a sickening smile when he saw it taking hold.  Just enough time to play with his catch.  He found himself wishing Summer was there to see…

Anger and pain, rage and cruelty … they poured through her in a never ending flood, and Summer clenched her hands into fists, unconsciously weeping with the burn of it. They were fighting now; she could almost see it behind her eyes.

Almost wasn’t enough. She dropped lower, then lower, eyes half-lidded and moving solely on the line of emotions. Something barred her path, and she shoved fire into it until it exploded from pure heat, and another, and then cool stone lay beneath her feet, and Loki held a giant being at bay, cruelty dripping off him like water after rain.

Loki and the firechild

lokilaufeyyson:

i-am-the-firechild:

lokilaufeyyson:

i-am-the-firechild:

“I’m going to need brain bleach after this,” Summer murmured back. “It’s like having everything slimy crawl through my head. But nothing’s changed. Still the two, one very strong, very … ” She paused for a long time, searching for a word. ” … very disciplined. And the others, flickering.”

He nodded quickly, selfish for the moment, his mind entirely focused on forming a plan.  ”Disciplined…I would call him power-obsessed.  If I had ambitions to rule Midgard, Thanos makes me look like a child at play.  Summer, I need your full cooperation and…trust.”  He closed his eyes and began charging a spell, an odd feeling in his gut telling him he was a leader for the first time in his life.

She drew in a deep breath. This was Loki. God of Mischief. The demi-god who had nearly destroyed New York City.

A man who, this whole time, had only asked. Not demanded, or commanded, but asked.

She poured out confidence and strength. ”What do you need me to do?”

A small smile quirked at the edges of his lips.  He handed her a knife.  ”What you do best.  Display your incredible gifts.”  He knew she would understand.  ”Here,” he murmured, dragging a finger down her throat, sending a cool antidote into her lungs.  Then he threw forth the full blast of his spell, growling ancient words into the sky.  A thick storm cloud gathered over the fortress, throwing all into a confusion of gray, mottled darkness even more absolute than before.  ”Now, we attack while they are weak.”

Summer turned the little knife over, then shoved it into the top of her boot. Wings flaring, she leaped for the shrouded sky, latched on to that beacon of terrible cruelty, and pulled, dumping the emotions back out as a rain of fire as fast as possible.

It hurt. Gods, it burned, not like familiar fire, but like acid, like freezing, like pain beyond pain. She wanted to vomit, channelling those emotions; she wanted to curl up into a ball and scream her anguish to the high heavens. Instead she gritted her teeth and held on, spinning a whirling cocoon of flame about herself, and loosing spits and flares of fire in all directions.

Loki and the firechild

lokilaufeyyson:

i-am-the-firechild:

lokilaufeyyson:

i-am-the-firechild:

The walk was long, and dull, and boring. Summer occupied herself tilting her head back to stare at the sky, trying to match the stars with anything familiar at all. It was a fruitless exercise, but better than watching the dull, lifeless rock and dirt surrounding them. She supposed it could be worse — whatever sun this place had could be up, rendering it blazingly hot. Or blindingly bright.

It was possible, she mused, that there was no sun here. Just the cold, distant stars in the velvet black of space. How achingly lonely that would be. She shivered, and wrapped her arms around herself.

Loki was acutely aware that his vision was rather skilled in the dark.  Perhaps he was simply used to such things; anything develops if it is used enough.  The thought made him sad, and he didn’t know why.

“Keep your senses sharp, fire child,” he said low.  They were getting close.  In fact, he could see the dark fortress materialize before them—a twisting series of angular towers, and the faint glow of red-purple light through a low window.  His fists clenched over his throwing knives instinctively, remembering the last time he was brought to that room.

“I’m going to need brain bleach after this,” Summer murmured back. “It’s like having everything slimy crawl through my head. But nothing’s changed. Still the two, one very strong, very … ” She paused for a long time, searching for a word. ” … very disciplined. And the others, flickering.”

He nodded quickly, selfish for the moment, his mind entirely focused on forming a plan.  ”Disciplined…I would call him power-obsessed.  If I had ambitions to rule Midgard, Thanos makes me look like a child at play.  Summer, I need your full cooperation and…trust.”  He closed his eyes and began charging a spell, an odd feeling in his gut telling him he was a leader for the first time in his life.

She drew in a deep breath. This was Loki. God of Mischief. The demi-god who had nearly destroyed New York City.

A man who, those whole time, had only asked. Not demanded, or commanded, but asked.

She poured out confidence and strength. ”What do you need me to do?”

Loki and the firechild

lokilaufeyyson:

i-am-the-firechild:

lokilaufeyyson:

i-am-the-firechild:

“Two. Close together. A blur of others, pooling together, very faint. Almost … stuttering. As if they don’t feel at all, or not much.” Summer could feel the flame, pooling in her veins, waiting to be called into death.

“Do you fly? I’m pretty sure I can’t carry you.”

He snorted.  ”That would be convenient, but no.  We shall travel by foot.”  We cannot all be Thor.  He imagined her suspicions pointed to Thanos, some sort of bodyguard, and a grouping of his mindless followers.  

And if his mind still served him, he knew exactly where they would be.  He had been there before.  The memory made him shiver.  ”Come.”

The walk was long, and dull, and boring. Summer occupied herself tilting her head back to stare at the sky, trying to match the stars with anything familiar at all. It was a fruitless exercise, but better than watching the dull, lifeless rock and dirt surrounding them. She supposed it could be worse — whatever sun this place had could be up, rendering it blazingly hot. Or blindingly bright.

It was possible, she mused, that there was no sun here. Just the cold, distant stars in the velvet black of space. How achingly lonely that would be. She shivered, and wrapped her arms around herself.

Loki was acutely aware that his vision was rather skilled in the dark.  Perhaps he was simply used to such things; anything develops if it is used enough.  The thought made him sad, and he didn’t know why.

“Keep your senses sharp, fire child,” he said low.  They were getting close.  In fact, he could see the dark fortress materialize before them—a twisting series of angular towers, and the faint glow of red-purple light through a low window.  His fists clenched over his throwing knives instinctively, remembering the last time he was brought to that room.

“I’m going to need brain bleach after this,” Summer murmured back. “It’s like having everything slimy crawl through my head. But nothing’s changed. Still the two, one very strong, very … ” She paused for a long time, searching for a word. ” … very disciplined. And the others, flickering.”

Loki and the firechild

lokilaufeyyson:

i-am-the-firechild:

lokilaufeyyson:

i-am-the-firechild:

“‘Why, this is hell, nor am I out of it’,” Summer quoted, softly. “I sure hope you know what you’re doing, liesmith.” Closing her eyes, she spread one hand out in the air, reaching.

There.

“There’s someone here, alright.” Thought and fear drew her wings to blazing life, casting brilliance over the barren rock. “Do we go to them, or they to us?”

“I am no coward,” Loki spoke just above a whisper, mostly just to convince himself.  ”We will find them.  Do you know how many?”  He cursed his own magic for being so lacking in comparison to her abilities.  It was not his style to rely on others, but this would have to do.  

He looked around quickly, wary.  The air hummed faintly, far off noises drifting to them in the heavy dark.

“Two. Close together. A blur of others, pooling together, very faint. Almost … stuttering. As if they don’t feel at all, or not much.” Summer could feel the flame, pooling in her veins, waiting to be called into death.

“Do you fly? I’m pretty sure I can’t carry you.”

He snorted.  ”That would be convenient, but no.  We shall travel by foot.”  We cannot all be Thor.  He imagined her suspicions pointed to Thanos, some sort of bodyguard, and a grouping of his mindless followers.  

And if his mind still served him, he knew exactly where they would be.  He had been there before.  The memory made him shiver.  ”Come.”

The walk was long, and dull, and boring. Summer occupied herself tilting her head back to stare at the sky, trying to match the stars with anything familiar at all. It was a fruitless exercise, but better than watching the dull, lifeless rock and dirt surrounding them. She supposed it could be worse — whatever sun this place had could be up, rendering it blazingly hot. Or blindingly bright.

It was possible, she mused, that there was no sun here. Just the cold, distant stars in the velvet black of space. How achingly lonely that would be. She shivered, and wrapped her arms around herself.