(I feel awful saying this but I’m used to waiting for long time , being forgotten and maybe even neglected. But every time I get an answer it feels that much more precious. I have been where you are and I know how it feels. Still am actually but I have one of my better days now. You aren’t horrible person nor writer, you do what you can and that’s it. No ones expecting or forcing you to do more, at least not here. If you can’t eat then maybe you can drink something. At least a little bit. <3 )

My husband is making me eat some soup.

It’s my own expectations. I expect better out of myself, not to do the things that annoy me when other people do them.  I know that I’m older, more experienced, than a lot of the folk I interact with, so I set my self-expectations accordingly higher — and I guess beat myself up more when I fail.