some nights
she climbs on her bike at ten at night and runs away. Hell is other people. Hell is herself. So she runs away, as fast as she can, careering down sidewalks and into the woods, hated phone chained to her hip. If she sees anyone else she doesn’t see them; she keeps going, into the dimness under the leaves, where only the moonlight reaches. Away from herself.
some nights
she goes out bowling with friends. There’s no couples, it’s just a mob of people who all happen to be going in the same direction right now, their lives all coinciding here. They don’t ask, who is going home with whom later, they just all pile in as few cars as possible and take over three lanes at the alley and change each other’s nicknames on the boards as often as possible. It never matters who wins; it only matters how hard they laugh while they play. But she’s still alone, with them.
some nights
she sprawls on his floor, A Dance With Dragons propping her head while they catch up on Game of Thrones. She gets pride of speech because she’s read all the books; she knows all the spoilers and isn’t afraid to ruin it for people who are obnoxious. They throw imaginary tomatoes at Joffrey and cry for all the Stark children, talk about how weird the Lannisters are and if they would sleep with Tyrion or not. Sometimes the talk turns more serious, about female representation and who is supposed to be the real hero and whether Dany is a good person.
some nights
she’s alone with him, laughing so hard she’s practically crying at how badly she fails at Mario Kart and the way if he says lean she does and that makes her drive off the road. She watches the way his fingers wrap around the controller and tries not to think about the way they might feel against her bare skin; watches him talk and tries not to admire his mouth. It’s odd how lonely she can be right there with a person she trusts.
some nights
she’s at her computer, headset on, bent forward in concentration because even with a team of her friends, who are so familiar with each other they don’t have to talk about strategy anymore, she still has to pay attention to healing and not get too lost in the discussion of market trends and whether it’s worth crafting the next level of gear. They’ve gamed together in different MMOs for years now; they know who runs off ahead of the tank and who likes to throw the AoEs without regard to controls on the field.
