so depression is like the rewards system in your brain pretty much shuts down. normally, there are things you do that you know make you feel good. the thing is so easy for you to do that you don’t even have to think about it too much.
when the rewards system starts to weaken, it gets more complicated. sometimes doing the thing doesn’t feel as good. you start to question why you do the thing, if you’re even good at the thing, if you even deserve the thing—because now when you do it, that rewarding feeling is weak or absent.
and, gradually, you stop doing the thing at all, or only manage to do it with great effort and a lot of pep talks or tough love before and during.
that’s depression. things stop feeling good. little things, from cleaning up a mess or eating well or getting up early—they don’t seem worth it. and the big things, like getting a job or following what used to be your passions or studying for exams—why bother? your brain can’t respond to it properly anyway.
most people with depression also have anxiety. anxiety is when your brain amps up the risk factor. maybe it’s just a few specific things that set off the alarms, or maybe there are too many to handle. things that made you nervous before now paralyze and consume you. combined with depression, too many things feel like they’re high risk and low reward.
depression and anxiety aren’t just feelings. the feelings are the symptoms, like a phlegmy cough or severe joint pain. the cause is as invisible to the eye as a cold virus, but it still causes damage.