It’s an actual genuine question, and literally everyone who has ever met or heard of you wants to know the real reason.

I’ll thank you not to libel my actual friends while I hand you the weapons to cut me down with.

See, the real question you’re asking is this: why do I want to be treated like I’m important. You want to know why I think I can act like the popular kids.

I don’t have enough fingers to count the threads I’m waiting on, the people I’m waiting on. The ones I haven’t said word one to, because every day I remind myself that they have lives too, that they just posted that they haven’t done all their drafts, that I’ve not been forgotten or ignored, that I too have struggled with responses, that two weeks (or three or four or six or ten) really isn’t that long.

So you bring me some proof where I’ve been too impatient, where I haven’t waited for weeks for some acknowledgement. You point out to me where I’ve sworn at someone, called them ugly names (‘cum-guzzling whore’ comes to mind) — done more than go to them after weeks and ask, ‘am I going to get a reply?’

If someone sees that as me making them feel bad, I feel sorry for that person when they have to deal with the ‘real world’. 

Why do I ask people about responses? Because you people seem to forget, in your prating about how this is just for fun, your constant commentary about taking care of oneself, your psas about not being nagged and how it’s okay to say ‘no’ — you forget that roleplay is not a solitary exercise. You forget that the things you feel, as you anxiously await the responses to your threads and asks, as you desperately admire another roleplayer or yearn to rp with a particular character or faceclaim — you forget that everyone else is probably feeling the same things about you.

I’m not sorry for wanting to be treated as important. I’m not sorry for asking for attention.

And I’m not in the least sorry for deciding I’m done with being the scapegoat this time around. I refuse to turn off anon, but if anyone wants to have a dialogue with me about this stuff from now on, they need to have an account. Anything else like this is going to get Shakespeare insult cats, and that’s all. I don’t have the spoons to be constantly shoring myself up against this.

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