Do you ever fear rejection so much, that you reject yourself for others before they can reject you?
Tag Archives: candle in the dark
um if you don’t reblog this
bc i have them myself.
I don’t reblog this because of the guilt trip.
I reblog it because not all scars are on the skin.
if I’m that annoying can people just /tell/ me instead of letting me get this idea that maybe you want me around and then just ignoring me entirely
stop dropping my threads without warning
oh yeah and I wish the people I want to play with and try to show that I want to play with would stop threatening to delete
it’s not like my life isn’t hard enough without losing people I consider friends
I don’t get help because I am the helper.
I’m sure I’m not the only person who can relate to this. You’re the friend who helps everyone, gives them advice when they need it, tells them they’re perfect when they feel ugly, and help them with their relationships even though you’ve never been in one yourself. But then the time comes around for you to be sad, for you to need help, and they’re not there to give it. Sure, sometimes you may not tell people you need help when you need it, but when you do tell everyone just ignores the fact and continues on with their lives like you don’t matter. And then the next day they come to you for more help.
I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even care if I get their help or not. I wouldn’t even know what to do if they did offer help, I’ve never been on the other side of the relationship and I would feel out of place if I was. I’ve become better at dealing with my feelings and problems myself rather than telling anyone or even anything.
At some point, you don’t even want help anymore, even if you need it, because you’re so far gone into your role that you can’t see yourself getting help. You get to a point where you refuse other people’s help because you don’t want to burden them, because you’re the person that’s supposed to be burdened by others. At some point, you become afraid of getting help.
This is something I struggled with for a long time, and to an extent, still do.
Welcome to my life.
i started crying while reading this.
It hurts the most when you realize. They aren’t willing to actually offer you any help at all. Only pile you on which more problems for you to solve. Slowly realizing maybe your not their friend at all..But a simple problem solver.
The hardest thing I ever learned: I /shouldn’t/ save everyone. No matter how much I want to.
Mentally ill people are not the problem. Inaccessible, unaffordable health care is the problem. Stigma is the problem. Lack of treatment is a problem. Lack of understanding is the problem. Lack of compassion is the problem. Not taking people seriously is the problem. Lack of honest conversation and open dialogue is a problem. Using jails as a housing facility for mentally ill persons is a problem. Do you understand me. Mentally ill people are not the problem.
We are all so afraid, we are all so alone, we all so need from the outside the assurance of our own worthiness to exist.
The Good Soldier (Ford Madox Ford)
The fact that you’re struggling doesn’t make you a burden. It doesn’t make you unlovable or undesirable or undeserving of care. It doesn’t make you too much or too sensitive or too needy. It makes you human. Everyone struggles. Everyone has a difficult time coping, and at times, we all fall apart. During these times, we aren’t always easy to be around — and that’s okay.
No one is easy to be around one hundred percent of the time. Yes, you may sometimes be unpleasant or difficult. And yes, you may sometimes do or say things that make the people around you feel helpless or sad. But those things aren’t all of who you are and they certainly don’t discount your worth as a human being. The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved. You can be difficult and still be cared for. You can be less than perfect, and still be deserving of compassion and kindness.
Danielle Koepke (via growrot)
Drugs that combat aging may be available within five years, following landmark work. The work finally demonstrates that a single anti-aging enzyme in the body can be targeted, with the potential to prevent age-related diseases and extend lifespans. Four thousand synthetic activators, which are 100 times as potent as a single glass of red wine, have been developed — the best three are in human trials.//This reminded me of the super soldier serum.
//I presented on something that does almost exactly this, only it’s a different enzyme. It’s prevented alzheimer’s, depression, anxiety, and basically undid autism like whoa? Only in mouse models though. SO FAR.
The molecule is rapamycin and it inhibits an enzyme called mTOR.
!!!! Prevents what kind of depression? Serotonin hyper-uptake version? IS THERE A MAGIC CHEMICAL?!
Details under cut:
You know, on the one hand, it’s awesome. On the other hand — I’m /already/ on meds for the rest of my life, and this would just be a different med. So it’s just about how efficacious it is compared to the ssri I’m on now.
Anti-aging drug breakthrough
Drugs that combat aging may be available within five years, following landmark work. The work finally demonstrates that a single anti-aging enzyme in the body can be targeted, with the potential to prevent age-related diseases and extend lifespans. Four thousand synthetic activators, which are 100 times as potent as a single glass of red wine, have been developed — the best three are in human trials.//This reminded me of the super soldier serum.
//I presented on something that does almost exactly this, only it’s a different enzyme. It’s prevented alzheimer’s, depression, anxiety, and basically undid autism like whoa? Only in mouse models though. SO FAR.
The molecule is rapamycin and it inhibits an enzyme called mTOR.
!!!! Prevents what kind of depression? Serotonin hyper-uptake version? IS THERE A MAGIC CHEMICAL?!