Tag Archives: rp: dubai

gadgeteerphilanthropist:

iamthefirechild:

“I felt like a liar. I don’t know how else to put it. I felt like — I couldn’t come around the workshop or you, if he was there.” She wrung her fingers together. “Tony, the fact that he wouldn’t acknowledge me made me feel as though I was supposed to be a secret. From him!” She drew in a deep, shuddering breath. “Have you seen — I’m sure Jarvis has a recording of what happened. Tony, Dummy was never going to be ready. The way he spoke, when he didn’t have any idea at all that I was his … ‘competition’. He didn’t want it to work. And I,” she sighed, “was impatient. I felt left out and unwanted and like I was enabling you to cheat on him.”

“I was not cheating,” he snapped, instantly defensive, but it drained away quickly to a sort of pensive, sullen quiet as he thought over it, arms crossed and looking at the tiles of the balcony.  …Maybe it had been cheating, inadvertently.  He didn’t want to talk about this.  They didn’t come to Dubai to talk about this.  Sure, they hadn’t really dealt with the issue yet, but that was how Tony dealt with things; by not dealing with them until they stopped bothering him.  Eventually, though, he did look back up at her, almost like he hardly dared to.  “Are we sure there was no coaxing him around?”  ‘Are we sure we couldn’t have just been happy for five minutes?’ went unsaid.

“I can’t answer that, Tony!” Summer’s voice cracked, half-anger half-anguish. “That was the last reason I went to talk to him. I want to coax him, I wanted to show that I was a person worthy of you. Of him. And the first /fucking/ thing he did was threaten to kill himself!” She called half a dozen sparks out of the air, swirling them around her hands, trying to hold her temper. She went on, bitter, “He was manipulating you, Tony. Using your emotions, your love for him, as a chokehold, a spiked collar. ‘Let me possess you or I’m going to kill myself.’

“I’m not perfect. I’m jealous, short-tempered, I don’t think I’m pretty, and the ability I have makes me push aside my morals and ethics far too often. I have a smart mouth and a sharp tongue, I’m lazy as hell, and I set my expectations too high and don’t voice them enough.” The sparks swirled over to Tony, swooping around him in wild loops. “But by all the gods that ever were, I’ll love you just as you are, no matter whom you love or how or any other stupid thing. I’m sorry I was impatient. I’m sorry you got hurt. I’m sorry you had to choose like that.” The sparks cascaded down, vanishing before they hit the ground. “I guess the nightmares are my punishment, the price I pay for loving someone like you.”

gadgeteerphilanthropist:

iamthefirechild:

Summer hesitated a long time before answering. “It started to feel like I was lying to him. Like … if we didn’t know each other, it was false. I’m not saying this right.” She looked down into her hands, desperately trying to find the right words. “Did you know, he didn’t know I was the other person until after he’d threatened to kill himself and run away from me? When I first started talking to him, he didn’t even know it was me, and he still — he,” she shook her head, “wanted to ignore my very existence. And I can’t — I couldn’t — I’m not made that way. To pretend everything is alright. I wanted — I was selfish, I thought I could win him over and we could be a real trio.”

“That doesn’t answer my question,” he mumbled, words somewhat muffled against his hand.  “By that point, he at least knew about you,” how he hadn’t at least run into her before that, Tony still wasn’t sure, but he could ponder on that later, “so I don’t get why you didn’t just wait until I said he was ready.”  Some part of him was still convinced, had she just waited longer, had he said something different, said something more, it would have turned out alright.  Maybe not ideal, not perfect, but…better.  Better than the mess it had devolved into in the end.

“I felt like a liar. I don’t know how else to put it. I felt like — I couldn’t come around the workshop or you, if he was there.” She wrung her fingers together. “Tony, the fact that he wouldn’t acknowledge me made me feel as though I was supposed to be a secret. From him!” She drew in a deep, shuddering breath. “Have you seen — I’m sure Jarvis has a recording of what happened. Tony, Dummy was never going to be ready. The way he spoke, when he didn’t have any idea at all that I was his … ‘competition’. He didn’t want it to work. And I,” she sighed, “was impatient. I felt left out and unwanted and like I was enabling you to cheat on him.”

gadgeteerphilanthropist:

iamthefirechild:

“That doesn’t make it better.” Even in the light she couldn’t get warm. “I just wanted to … make things better. For you. Him. Us! I thought, if we were friends, even if,” she flushed, “even if, he never loved me back, then it would be better. He would understand. I don’t even know what I did wro—well, okay, burning the door down was a little much.”

Tony snorted a wry, humorless laugh, one hand raising to pinch the bridge of his nose.  “Ya think?”  His head fell forward, face in his hand.  “Why couldn’t you have just waited until I gave you the go ahead?” he asked after a moment of tense silence.

Summer hesitated a long time before answering. “It started to feel like I was lying to him. Like … if we didn’t know each other, it was false. I’m not saying this right.” She looked down into her hands, desperately trying to find the right words. “Did you know, he didn’t know I was the other person until after he’d threatened to kill himself and run away from me? When I first started talking to him, he didn’t even know it was me, and he still — he,” she shook her head, “wanted to ignore my very existence. And I can’t — I couldn’t — I’m not made that way. To pretend everything is alright. I wanted — I was selfish, I thought I could win him over and we could be a real trio.”

gadgeteerphilanthropist:

iamthefirechild:

“Nightmares. All the things I didn’t say. All the things I thought of to say and didn’t.” Summer closed her eyes. “I hurt him. Over and over. And he just crumples under it.” A few tears seeped out from under her eyelids, and she rubbed at them. “I drove him away.”

He let his head fall back, giving him an upside down view of the landscape behind him.  “Yeah,” he agreed quietly after a moment, like he wasn’t quite sure what else to say on the matter.  “You didn’t mean to.”  Quieter still, that time, as if he was convincing himself just as much as reassuring her.

“That doesn’t make it better.” Even in the light she couldn’t get warm. “I just wanted to … make things better. For you. Him. Us! I thought, if we were friends, even if,” she flushed, “even if, he never loved me back, then it would be better. He would understand. I don’t even know what I did wro—well, okay, burning the door down was a little much.”

gadgeteerphilanthropist:

iamthefirechild:

gadgeteerphilanthropist:

iamthefirechild said: *shrugs* Everything. Nothing. I can’t stop thinking.

…Alrighty then.  If you decide to perk up, I’ll be out enjoying the sunlight.  *wanders off*

She followed after in a few minutes, stopping just behind Tony, watching him. Even the warmth of the light didn’t bring any ease to the set of her shoulders. Maybe Tony could keep the things that hurt him locked up inside, but she wasn’t made like that. She had to get it out in the open.

“I keep dreaming about him. Dummy.”

He glanced over his shoulder when she joined him, and then back out over the railing of the balcony, staring off over the scenery.  When she spoke up, he turned to face her, leaning back on his forearms on the railing.

“What sorts of dreams?”

“Nightmares. All the things I didn’t say. All the things I thought of to say and didn’t.” Summer closed her eyes. “I hurt him. Over and over. And he just crumples under it.” A few tears seeped out from under her eyelids, and she rubbed at them. “I drove him away.”